life's a bitch, enjoy it!

Aspire to be

2010-10-26T22:49:00.000-07:00

Things that i want to do:

1. school of acts
2. filming documentaries of our heritage with Pink and other ppl who wants to join
3. go to Japan ( with UNMC Japanese Society)
4. become a buyer

new house..

2010-09-11T07:17:00.000-07:00

Phew, busy week..

I'm in the process of packing my stuffs to my new house in Notts, and my new permanent house in KL.

i realize how many books ive own..lol..

6 big boxes just for my BOOKS. not yet my clothes and other misc.

i found many unsent letters, some long lost letters, cards, notes..brings back so much memories.

i mean, i've been living in this house since i was 2. so suddenly, my parents bought a new house and i'm shifting, like a few hundred meters away aka 10 mins drive from my original house. (sweat right?)

and i haven't even seen my house that i'm moving into..talk about random.

All i need in that is new in the new room is..

1. BOOKSHELFS ! (notice the S?)
2. build-in Cupboard (stronger, the last time it broke because it couldn't stand the weight..)
3. table
4. bed

erm..im gonna make my room lilac, white and apple pastel green. =)

Woot!

2010-08-13T23:25:00.000-07:00

i just realize, that if i could pass the resits, I've only have 1 more year in uni..GOSH!

so i ve a few goals to accomplish during my last year in uni!

1. graduate! LOL..
2. wear anything i like regardless what ppl would say!
3. get back my athletic body!
4. explore my other talents..( DOTA, MUSiC)
5. figure what im gonna do after i graduate!

no mood.

2010-07-22T02:00:00.001-07:00

things i want to do:

swim.
play squash.
punch punching bag.
sit-ups.
push-ups.

instead of stuck here in the library.

i feel like im a nerd. a-not-so-smart-nerd.

sigh.

things that i like.

2010-07-20T01:33:00.000-07:00

1. books
I love books. I love them hardcover, and i also love them in paperbacks. I love their smell, new or old. I love them plain, so i could tell stories to them through pictures and words, secrets that are poured from my heart and soul, imprint them, immortalize them into the books like tattoos on skin.
I also love them to be storytellers, bring me to the places that i have never been and never will be. They are my teachers, they are my friends. They are not like mortal teachers, who are loud and repeating, they only repeat when and where u want them to repeat. They are friends that could company me, and i could find them comforting and friendly even if i didnt see them for a very long time.
The very first book I've ever picked up was a encyclopedia. i was 3 years old. it made me want to learn how to read so i could understand that book. i have 5 sets of encyclopedia. =) I collect notebooks, plain or with lines. i love the smell of notebooks, for they have different smells compare to storybooks, because of the inking. one of my dream jobs is to be a illustrator, so that my drawings could help bring out or emphasize the message in the book.

2. art
I love arts. all forms of art, performance art, and pieces of art. i used to bore my friends and family because of art. i would want to sit in art galleries and spend hours just to stare at pictures. i love the smell of oil paints and other paints. i love the textures, i love the colours and i love to interpret the pictures. i wish to travel around europe, just to visit their galleries and museums.

3. history
I love old stuffs, wont exactly want to be there, but to discover what happened last time that made of today. i like to study mythology, and social anthropology. if i am not born in Malaysia, i would cont my studies on these subjects, but because of the narrow school systems, i would have pursue in these fields.

i'm weird, arent i?
as though i should be born before the 19th century.

Psalms 121:1-2

2010-07-05T06:22:00.000-07:00

I don't want a dead end.

I want to live. I want to survive. I want to face my mountains. I will face it. With the LORD as my strength.

No one will bring me down. If I am down, I will move back up. I am moving towards my prize. It may be slow and strenuous but I know its worth it.

pic: courtesy of dancingwithfools.wordpress.com/2009/05/

I lift my eyes on the hills, Where does my help comes from? My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of Heaven and earth.
Psalms 121: 1-2

His Glory Appears by Hillsong

2010-05-09T23:24:00.000-07:00

You gave me hope
You made me whole
At the cross
You took my place
You showed me grace
At the cross where You died for me

And His glory appears
Like the light from the sun
Age to age He shines
Look to the skies
Hear the angels cry
Singing Holy is the Lord

while i was walking alone, i stumble upon this song.
then i went to tiscra just to find the lyrics and also to do my work..

minus one paper, 5 more to go.

today, when i was on my way to examination hall, i walked back and forth just because i forgotten my calculator, then buy milk, then buy milk again, then go back coz forgotten to take my pen.

then stumble upon Zoe, prayed for me, in the morning, Wei Ern prayed for me, Before sleeping Wei Ern prayed with me.

I have the feeling, (duh) that God knows i have doubt in my heart.
after not contacting Him for so long, Its hard, but i know with His strength in me, i'm an overcomer.

Dear Lord,

You know my heart,
You know my pain and suffering,
You search my heart,
All You found was emptiness,
I know You are able and willing,
You heal the sick, blind and raise the dead,
You know how I am feeling,
All the feeling of hate,
disgust and seething,
You will take it away,
Take it far from my heart,
Let not me sway,
Sway like a sad wind,
Blowing across river Quay,
Dear Lord, please hear my prayer,
May prayer that i can forgive,
And be forgiven.

There's pain still in my heart,
Bitterness from people who does not believe in me,
Who do not understand.

Disappointments after disappointments,
bitterness after bitterness,
i will not let them swallow me,
in to the darkness.

Dear Lord,

Hear my prayer,
Save my soul,
Save my life,
I shall give it to You for safekeeping,
For You are the one that i'd only trust.

O God,
My Saviour,
Righteous Judge,
My Sovereign Lord,
You know the truth,
and may the truth bring me out from the darkness,
that Your light will reveal,
reveal to the unbelievers,
the people who find their own faults in me.

O Lord,
You are my comfort,
You gave me grace and mercy,
Without those,
I wouldn't even be here,
God of mercy,
Cover me in with Your Grace,
that I may rest in Your arms,
sleep in Your bosom,
never to cry anymore.

Children's imagination turns reality =)

2010-04-25T08:53:00.000-07:00

this whole post is taken from this site..http://www.designboom.com/weblog/cat/10/view/3381/recreating-childrens-drawing-by-yeondoo-jung.html

it features all these kinda superb funny and even sparked some nostalgic moments...

reminded me of the pictures ive drawn when i was a kid..

this guy, YeonDoo, he recreated these kids drawing into reality, pretty cool, take a look at some pics...some on this post taken via designerboom.com.

'the magician turned the wale into a flower', 2004

'he didnt sleep for three days', 2004

'sleeping beauty',2004

'red riding hood',2004

and this is by far, my favourite..=)

'afternoon nap',2004

Via:

Changing times.

2010-02-18T06:38:00.000-08:00

looking at the years gone by, i think im growing more insecure more than ever.

see my girlfrens, i get happy but most of the time i get sad coz everyone is getting prettier but im getting not prettier? im the same old me after all these years. its not that im unhappy because of my frens getting prettier, its because i didnt change at all. except for my hairstyle. lol..

im still grabbing into the past. but there's nothing left for me in the past, i just want to move on. like lil dandelions flying out from their stalks. i want to fly as high n far as possible without looking back. i want to MOVE on. but somewhat is as though my feet is cemented on the ground.

(photo by Sangel99, deviantart)

just want to lie on the grass, looking at the trees changing colours, facing the sky, whispering to God of all my troubles, and blow them away like i blow the dandelions away from their stalks.

so many worries and troubles come my way. am i the cause of it?
i should be, but am i to settle it? dying's no use, cause EVEn more trouble.
fade away? well, ppl will ask. its more like attention seeking than ever.

how?

reflection

2009-10-21T12:06:00.000-07:00

Mabel Kuan is trying to deny herself, picking up the Cross even though it sometimes its so heavy, stumbling to following the Author of Love.

God has blessed me with so many many things in my life, i don't know where to start.

He has given me responsibilities that i've never known i could do, frankly, without His help, i confidently say i couldn't. He was like a pillow to me, granting me rest when i need the most. He never and will not ever leave me. He is making miracles in UNMC CF. i believe God has prepare each Christians in UNMC for something great. i can feel it, but i still cant see it coz God has not revealed it entirely yet. Its so excited!

Yet, even outwardly i am wasting away, i felt like inwardly i am being renewed day by day by Him, i thank Him again. He gave me amazing emotional strength to go on despite problems that i am facing and He is rebuilding my relationship with my family. Its a great improvement for me.

Friends,

do not give up in anything that you are trying to do. even sometimes you felt lonely and tired, always remember that the Lord is always with you no matter what. whatever things that you had done, its not too big for His mercy and love. He is Grace, He is love. He knows and He still loves. Never underestimate His ability to love.

Friends,

i apologised for not being a example to everyone as a christian. i know i failed in many ways. i am sorry that i cause people to stumble because of my ways. Old habits are hard to die, but they don't mean that they don't die, its just abit harder that usual. grant me patience and self-control, by God's grace, i pray that i could be more like Him.

May the Grace of God, the Love of Jesus Christ, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with You all.

New Sem for Year 2.

2009-10-02T09:57:00.000-07:00

heyheyhey..Year 2 is here!

im really happy that i get to go back to uni and meet my frens and meet New frens and everything...buttt....sigh, its gonna be hectic!

then now i cant really spend much time with my other frens who is not from uni anymore...

i need to choose which optional module and fast!...sigh...

i need to lose my fats..seriously.

i have to keep track on what ive spend...sigh...

growing up is such a pain in the ass.

haha, gurls are seriously special.

2009-08-17T23:36:00.000-07:00

Surfing along the internet and the facebook, of course i kinda notice sumthin.

although alot of gurls would actually disagree with me, i dun mind coz this wont apply to everyone. its just my personal view.
the gurls that i've observed are randomly selected and not spesificly mention, just generally, if anyone of u are offended, i am truly sorry, i dont mean to hurt anyone.

i found out that alot of gurls that ive met long time ago when they were single, they were hard, fierce ( not the fierce angry cat fierce) but more to determination kinda fierce, the kind of energy that the emit a kind of passion that they need to succeed in accomplishing sumthin in their own life. after a few years, when everyone has their own thing to do, meeting back them through fb or face to face, i've notice some of them has been refined, more subtle, more ladylike, and most of all, more sexier, as they had discover they could move a person's heart by their looks. alot of them did not notice, or havent discover the power or some say 'talent' in them. when i talk to most of them, i felt so happy for them..esp for those who told me that they couldnt find the other half to share their life with, but hey, life is still along way to go, and im happy for those who already found sumone that love them as much as a human could, and accept them for who they are, regardless of their attitude, looks and personality. Loving sumone or accepting the love from someone else makes a person shine, because they felt appreciated i guess. and i've seen their pretty faces smile while mentioning that special person that they had in mind, it automatically makes me smile too.=)

for the rest of the gurls that havent..take note ( HAVENT, not NEVER) lol..embrace your life with joy and gladness because that's what will attract the right guys at the right time. having a person to share your life could be awesome, but being with yourself and take time to discover who you really are is even more enlightening. i took the time off for a year and ive discover amazing things about myself, and i thought that i knew myself more than anyone, spend time with God and having a awesome time to know more about His Majesty is the time that i rediscover myself more than anything. Take a break from everything and just relax and talk to Him is enough for a whole session of physcotherapy. lol..trust me, coz He is Your creator, and He knows your deepest darkest secrets, your greatest fear and your hopes and dreams. the most awesome thing is, He knows everything AND He still wants You to be His beloved daughter. Nothing can separate You and Him but Your own decision, whether to accept Him then He will take away everything that hurts you, or you would just be back at square one? Will you open to Him with His open arms or are you sticking urself back to that hellhole? i dont know about you but i think the 1st suggestion is much nicer..lol.

and when the right time comes, (when is the Right time?) i dont know, He knows, (impatient?) pray for patience, in a meanwhile, do sumthin that you love and dont worry, life is too short for so much worrying. Be confident and smile even when the world gives you shit at times, but if there were no shits, then you wont know that ur living in this sick sick world..lol.

Champagne Supernova-Oasis

2009-08-16T08:13:00.000-07:00

One of my current favourite songs.

How many special people change?
How many lives are living strange?
Where were you while we were getting high?
Slowly walking down the hall
Faster than a cannonball
Where were you while we were getting high?
Someday you will find me
Caught beneath the landslide
In a champagne supernova in the sky
Someday you will find me
Caught beneath the landslide
In a champagne supernova
A champagne supernova in the sky
Wake up the dawn and ask her why
A dreamer dreams, she never dies
Wipe that tear away now from your eye
Slowly walking down the hall
Faster than a cannonball
Where were you while we were getting high?
Someday you will find me
Caught beneath the landslide
In a champagne supernova in the sky
Someday you will find me
Caught beneath the landslide
In a champagne supernova
A champagne supernova
'Cuz we don't believe
That they're gonna get away from the summer
But you and I will never die
The world's still spinning around we don't know why
Why-why-why-why-i-i
(guitar solo)
How many special people change?
How many lives are living strange?
Where were you while we were getting high?
Slowly walking down the hall
Faster than a cannonball
Where were you while we were getting high?
Someday you will find me
Caught beneath the landslide
In a champagne supernova in the sky
Someday you will find me
Caught beneath the landslide
In a champagne supernova
A champagne supernova
'Cuz we don't believe
That they're gonna get away from the summer
But you and I will never die
The world's still spinning around we don't know why
Why-why-why-why-i-i
(a really long guitar solo)
(background - sounds like a bunch of "No"'s)
(birds chirping)
(more guitar)
How many special people change?
How many lives are living strange?
Where were you while we were getting high?
We were getting high <-- 9 times, background "Oooh-oooh"
(Fades out 7th-9th times to just one "Oooh-oooh")
(Song gets really quiet, fades to a peaceful guitar solo.)

Pondering

2009-08-15T21:42:00.000-07:00

i realise how fragile a life is.

like a rose, beautiful yet fragile.

a reminder for people that complaints about how bad life is, including myself sometimes, that there is more to life than just complaints.

live for a purpose, set a purpose and you will know why God place you here for a special reason.

a smile to a random stranger could even change his ways or thoughts, smile is infectious, in a very good way. =)

learn to appreciate simple things in life, take a break and watch flower weeds growing at the side of the roads, wondering at even that harsh of a condiiton, it still finds a way to bloom despite its circumstances.

learn to love the people that you find the hardest to love, because those are the people that needs more love than ever.

if you're missing sumone badly that had left this world, be glad because they are watching you from above.

dreams are blueprints for extraordinary things that have yet to happen.

live to love and likewise, love to live, not knowing when we would leave this world.

learn to appreciate the people around you, dont take things for granted, dun leave spaces for regrets.

rest in peace, Gary Leon Robert.

2009-08-03T08:59:00.000-07:00

facebook is sure useful. somewhat..

most of the time, facebook tells us who's with who, who went where, who went out with who, all the happy happy stuffs..oh, sumtimes it has who broke up with who and sad stuffs like that..but who would want to have a post or a link post saying that your friend had passed away?

after a long tired day, i received a very shocking news.

a dear friend of mine, her brother had passed away.
its just too shocking. far too shocking. 22 years old, no sickness, was running for a adidas event, king of the road. collaspe, then missing, found dead at the stadium basement.

http://www.mstar.com.my/berita/cerita.asp?file=/2009/8/3/mstar_berita/20090803211452&sec=mstar_beritahttp://forum.lowyat.net/topic/1117234

it just make me realise how fragile this life could be.

he is just 22 years old, a whole life ahead of him, a bright future.

i hope there's more investigation follow-up on his case.

May God continue to bless her family with Strength and courage to handle this situation. O Lord, please grant them peace and let Your presence be known to them. Lord, You are a justice God, and he is your son. Please grant the officers the wisdom to handle this situation. May Your hands be apon those that is involved. In Jesus name i pray, Amen.

Lost memories.

2009-07-22T08:49:00.000-07:00

been springcleaning for the past few months..

guess what? ive lost two of my quite most important thing..

1. my black notebook.
written everything from my new ideas for my dream business, to my most inner personal moments (hey, i'm still old fashion pen-and-paper kinda person) and my poems.

2. my Ziljian BlackSkulls pair of Drumsticks. luckliy i stil have my promark and travis barker's white drumsticks..
at least this i can buy back but still, i have fond memories with this drumstick..bitemarks n everything! lol..note: im no dog. "bitemarks" by the drum.

sigh..thats the bad news. psst..: anyone that found any of those items..tell me please? will be rewarded..see how badly i wanna find back this two beloved things of mine? T_T

good news is..my dad bought me a jigsaw puzzle! its so cute, it has 1000 pieces. (hmm..to occupy my sien-ness at home!)

ahahaha..but still..i still long for my two stuffs..

annoyed..

2009-07-05T07:52:00.000-07:00

today i went to the pets fair in midvalley..damn lotsa ppl

so many cute cats and dogs...and lil newts too! ahhh...i nearly bought them back...

then got free samples of dog food for my dogs..brought it back gave them to eat..august had fish and rice at 1st, then shadow got fish and potato..then i just gave them in their dogbowls.

then funny thing is, my mum ask me to switch coz the one that i gave shadow was bit smaller bites compare to august, my mum put it since august is old so she ask me to switch it..so i did, guess what? august barked at shadow for 'stealing' is food, and he did not touch his switched food. then go and fight with shadow for his food. then with a sigh, i changed back..i told my mum and my sis said that coz august is a chinese dog..lol..fish and rice..shih tzu originated from china ma..then shadow, originate from germany thats why he likes fish and potato...weird.

while i was upstairs, then suddenly my sis called me, then i did not hear what she says later, i ask what, she didnt reply, then annoyed i went down..she ask me to watch a vid clip on Michael Jackson..i was annoyed coz i dun wanna watch it and that time she didnt tell me why i have to go downstairs, i told her then my mum told me off. she kept saying that she heard my sis ask me to go down to watch that stupid clip but i did not hear it then my mum keep insisting why im being so difficult. its just annoying. i parked my butt on my seat happily on9ling just to move coz i duno what my sis want from me. and she ask me to watch a stupid vid clip.

......

Hospital Date? lol

2009-07-02T06:27:00.000-07:00

hmm..ive just showered and im tired..but happy. =)

today was the day that my mum made an appointment for me n Wei Ern to see a bone specialist in a Hospital. it started out like this, last few weeks, ive start having pain on my knees, sumtimes to the point of numbness and it made me quite difficult to walk. it all due to the injury that i have during the easter play and the basketball training that i had. not to mention previous injuries that ive suffered since i was 17.

i found out that my tendon is still weak and i need to properly care for my knee before doin any sports..and as for wei ern, this second appointment has confirm that his knee needs an operation. they found out that his 2 ligamen on his knee was teared and they need to fixed it back before its too late. so after our Langkawi trip, he has to do his operation most probably on 13th July...lets pray that this operation will be a successful one so that he could cont to play whatever sports ( esp squash..lol...) he likes...>_<

so the day before the appointment i was talking to him on the phone dicussing on sum random topic about our past injuries that we had during our childhood...it was funny because we both had injuries on the same body part..lol..ecg. both our right knee, left brow we both had a scar and we both hurt our left hand. we found it extremely hilarious because of the coincidence.

anyway, after we left, we went back home to fetch my sis and then me my mum and wei ern head down to klcc. went there to eat, buy books then went to watch movie coz my mum want to watch transformer..3 of us watch for the second time..still a great movie, lol..but my mum was abit dizzy coz of too many actions in the movie. then we had dinner and we head back to our house. psst..! KLCC parking damn expensive! rm 20.50 for 8 hrs...lol

we all had a great time and im glad that my mum is ok with wei ern..lol...and vice versa.

sigh, and i bought my jeans! yay...~ lol

the longest tag ever...sweat..by ivy..lol

2009-06-28T06:37:00.000-07:00

1.My Name : Mabel Kuan

2.My Birthday : 4th January

3.Who tagged you : Ivy

4.Name 5 best friends : i dun have best frens..i have close frens..coz all of them are best! =p

5.What do you wished for birthday : still have a few months to go..let me think..lol

6.Happy things that happened recently : i got my results and i get to proceed to year 2 without resitting my papers.

7.Most stressed about recently : I want to see Wei Ern. lol..that made me stress...coz i cant see him that often..

8.What is your dream about future : My love ones would be in good health.

9.Do you have someone you like : haha..yeap

10.Will you visit your ex-teacher in a classmate gathering : depends on which teacher.

11.Most happy to hang out with : The ppl that i love.

12.If two of your friends are having conflicts : be their listener if they want sum1 to listen but will not try to solve it, coz it will work out eventually..

13.Where is preferably the place to go with your lover : Anywhere, lol..as long as im with him.

14.What to do in Christmas : Eat! carolling! EAt! lol...get pressies!

15.Who do you want to celebrate Christmas with : spend it with my frens and family.

16.Bad habit on waking up early in the morning : i will yawn alot...my eyes will be half close..lol

17.How many siblings do you have : one.

18.Favourite song(Female) : ahahahaha..Lady GAGA's newest single...no la..its actually Again by Yui.

19.Favourite song(Male) : John Legend Ordinary ppl.

20.Favourite Colour : earth colours? depends on my mood..

21.Flush before using the toilets? : depends.

22.Love me not? : love hu?

23.Affectionate to guys or girls : both.

24.What do you want to shout out loudly : I'm sweating! argh!

25.Do you dare to go toilets alone in the middle of the night? : Yeap.

26.Will you take off your undies in while in the WC : uhh..depends what im doin inside there? what kinda lame ass quest is tis? Ivy...! lol

27.Who’s the bastard : The rude ones.

28.What’s the current affection : Affection for my skin..sobsob..

29.Ugly when asleep: maybe...with my drool and snoring, i bet not..! lol..

30.Whats the time now : 9.46pm

31.Do you hate the person who tagged you : irritated why she tagged me this stupid long post..! LOL~

32.Weight : 45kg?

33.Weather today : felt like in sum oven or sumthin...

34.Are you pregnant : wtf..not now.

35.What will you do if you win a lottery : INvest! LOL~bwaahahah

36.An activity that must be done while in the Uni -life : DOTA n basketball..of course..lepaking n study too..lol

person in ur mind now:

1. wei ern
2. ivy
3.merissa
4. joanne
5.wy hoong
6.shi wei
7. alice
8.wayne
9.hock ann
10.ck

01-?Does no.4 know no.6??: yeap!

02-?No.10 is a male or??: hahaha..i didnt check but im sure he's a male..lol

03-? The hobby of no.8?: ahahhaha...racing?

04-?Does no. 1 have any siblings?: yeap..!

05-?The surname of of no.7?: Liew

06-?Does no.10 have alot of friends??: yea? why this quest like no 10 so much? lol

07-?Anyone tackling no.4??: huhuhu..complicated ler...lol =p

08-?If no.2 is being introduced??: my gurl..lol

09-?The favourite colour of no.6?: blue..HOt pink..waakakakakaa

12-?Where is no.5 studying currently??: Notts

13-?How do you know no.10??: BBQ party for a gurlfren.

14-?Whats the difference between the birth month of no.1 and you??: 9 months...! lol...

15-?Ever hang out with no.9??: mamak fellowship..yea..!

16-?Do you like to chat with no.2??: yeap...she always giggles...that cheers me up..lol when i talk to her..

17-?Like to be with no.3??: YEAP! lol

18-?How do you think about no.7??: sadist..! lol and squirrel..ask joseph about it..lol~

19-?How do you think about no.9??: a good fren

20-?Do you love no.5??: as a fren, yes lol

1.Who tagged you with this questionnaire? : IVY la...~

2.How long have you known him/her : hm..since primary skool? lol~

3.Do you think that he/she is important to you? : Yeap!

4.Your relationship with him/her : friends la..=) gurlfrens.

5.Whats his/hers hobby? : EAting! ..lol..sorry ivy..! lol..playing with her cute puppy? lol

6.What do you think about his/her personality? : lovable!

7.His/her points of importance in your heart : wa..wat is this..everyone is important in my heart..=)

*1st thing before sleep : wash my feet, brush teeth n wash face.

*1st thing after awaking from sleep : grab my specs.

*Your idol : no idol..

*Favourite season : Spring.

*Worked part-time before? : Yes.

*Times worked : Once..if u count pay..lol

*Countries that wanted to go the most : rome..ireland..new zealand..

*Personality hated : rude, selfish

*Are you a crybaby? : yeap

*You laugh alot? : manically at times, yes..

*Do you like to go out alone? : When im emoing

*What time will you wake up if it's a holiday? : wahahaha..i wake when i wake.

*Today’s weather(Sunny Rainy Cloudy): Incredibly hot!

*Choose between Friends and Lover : friends, coz lover is my fren too..my bestie in fact.

*Choose between Chances and Fates : chances.

*Are you narcissist? : sumitmes..lol..when no one's looking.

*Is this questionnaire long? : Super!

*How to make yourself feel better every time? : food! and time with my boyfriend..or sleep.

*Favourite food : almost everything...except for slimey veggies, brinjals...eee

*Do you like ice? : Yes.

*Are you full of happiness? : im quite cloudy.

*Who are the friends that you care the most? : those are in trouble.

*What's the most important item in your bed room? : everything! lol

*Most consistent dream at sleep : nitemares.

*Will you forgive a guy that is mentally disobedient? : wahts mentally disobedient? meaning he cant controll being disobedient?

*Whats the meaning of life? : who know? im finding out myslf..

*Do you know?(See if you can answer this!): know that this questionnaire is stupid? Yes.

*When do you hate me? : i hate you when i do..(to the questionnaire)

*Like the day you were born or been into the society?: well, u cant change rite?

*Like Taoism or Confucianism? : neither

*Favourite cake? : Raspberry cheese..=)

*Can we stop this game now? : ...

*Do you like sardins? ^^ : yeap

*Who knows you the best? : God

*IQ higher or EQ? : lol...nerd.

*Computer or Mobile Phone : neither.

*Prefer to sleep or play? : Sleep.

*Friendster or Facebook? : Fb.

*Whats your wish right now? : be with him.

*Tired? : quite.

*Favourite drinks : pink lemonade.

untitled.

2009-06-23T09:17:00.000-07:00

human love?
human carnal love,
catch in like a zhepyr,
such intense gust,
but just as a gust it will be.

human carnal love,
so intense,
but yet as fragile as a day's bloom of a flower,
longing to show the world its beauty,
but crumbling to dust only after later.

back after sooo long.

2009-06-23T07:56:00.000-07:00

hey people..! cats...dogs..plants..lol

finally, im back..

i dont have the mood to write, and i was quite busy for the last few weeks after summer break has officially started..! lol..

i've been doin basketball trainings with the gurls that are now in Tri Notts Games in UK. pray that they will be in good health..by the looks of the pictures in facebook...hmm...they're good..lol (but sure alot of stories im yet to hear about...hehehehe...)

want to write on blog but frens stalled me...after not onlining for pleasure for so long...lol...ive forgotten my special ability of multitasking..lol

moving everything back to my home is one thing, placing them is another thing..lol..i ahve mountains of stuffs in my room and i can hear cockroaches singing in the dark! >_< damn those cockroaches...

so many things to do..but procrastinating..sigh..how how?

things to do

2009-05-30T09:40:00.000-07:00

mabel needs to:

1. clear out SPM stuffs..(im serious! still got! LOL)
2. clean my desk
3. organise my books
4. clean out my closet
5. sleep sleep sleep! LOL

argh..>_<

untitled.

2009-05-02T08:04:00.000-07:00

whoever corrects amocker invites insult;
whoever rebukes a wicked man incurs abuse.
do not rebuke a mocker or he will hate you;
rebuke a wise man and he will love you.
Instruct a wise man and he will be wiser still;
teach a righteous man and he will add to his learning.

proverbs 9:8

Easter

2009-04-10T23:41:00.000-07:00

After a long chat with a few of my favourite people, they’ve made me realize something about myself.

It’s hard to admit, I have an ego as big as a guy and I’m always think I can almost do better than other people in terms of certain things. I seem to be confident if I am sure I could complete that certain task.

God has been trying to show me how to be humble and patience, and He even sent me a very special person in my life to remind me of a few things in life that I should always remember, is to be humble and to be in the grace of God. If it isn’t for Jesus, I could have been much worse. People always regard Christians in majority always being all holier than thou kinda attitude, but it truth, Christians need God because they are worse. i.e, me.

Take me for a perfect example, I swear, I’m egoistic, I’m impatient, I’m rude. I’m worse off than other people. I still find it hard for God to accept me and He is willing to let me be in His presence. But there He is, always with me even most of the times I had doubt and even abandon Him. I was the one that abandon Him instead of me.

Being the ‘victim’ of the upcoming Easter play in Nottingham University has lead me to think and reflect of all the things that I’ve went through in my life. For the 1st scene, for example, I have been tempted on lust, had my fair share on being a 1st degree of nearly being an alcoholic, always drinking in excuse of trying to defeat stress and depression. I’ve went through being too insecure of myself, discouraged, and always think bad about how I look. No matter anyone tells me that I am pretty or decent looking, I couldn’t accept it. Why? Some people asked me, because I ‘d always believe that beauty comes from the inside, and that’s why I’m not pretty, cause, I’m not pretty from the inside. It’s not that I’m being too ‘chinese’ by not accepting compliments, this is the real reason that I couldn’t accept this compliment. Committing suicide? Lol..yes. It crossed my mind so often until I’m wondering why I am still alive.

No matter what I’ve went through, whether it’s by my own doing or cause by other people, God was and is always with me. Why do I know that? Cause I’m still alive. It sounds cheesy but I can swear my life by it. He sends angels to talk to me, He shows me until I see it. My angels are so damn special in my life..earthly angels and heavenly angels the same too. Earthly angels would be my family members, my friends and loved ones. They gave me the reasons to live, to love and to cherish. They are you. ( yesh, you..reading this) =)

Blessed are those whom are poor in spirit.

Despite all those false accusations that are made by people, I pray that God would be my strength to go thru this time in my life. You have been there throughout my life for 20 years (even more), I will continue to learn to trust You, O Lord. I still believe that the truth will eventually reveal itself when the time is right. You are my strength when I am weak. Even though I look tough and hardy, but I’m still a fragile girl despite on how I look. Only You could see through me and fully understand on what I am going through in this period of time. I love You, Jesus. I cant comprehend with my puny pathetic human mind on why do You choose to die for me for my sins. All I can do is come to You in awe reverence, no one could make me feel like You do. Therefore, Lord Jesus, I give You thanks for the times when You patiently wait for me with Your arms wide open, even with the shits that I’ve made and forgive me Lord for being so ignorant and stubborn to even acknowledge you. I’ve clearly been a fool but You choose to be with me. You are freakingly awesome.

my daily routine as Mabel Kuan.

2009-04-08T12:30:00.000-07:00

Wednesday,(9th April 2009)
woke up at 11am. supposingly have class at 9am-11am, then another one at 12pm-2pm, then weekly test at 4pm-5pm.

at 5.30pm, have basketball competition 3 on 3 women's team.

what a terrible game, kind off for me..i didnt manage to shoot a single score.except the last minute..with is tied up between double-trouble team ( a group of african gurls consist of a size triple my size,wide..and a tall netball player..one head taller than me, and the last one a tiny one, smaller size than me) we tied them for 3rd place, so it was weird that the organisers wont want to give us overtime, instead they want all of the teamates to shoot to determine the 3rd place.in the end we tied again so its time to move to the sudden death situation whereby each team has to choose a shooter to shoot until they score. guess what? i was chosen and the 1st try, we tied AGAIN..then the second one, with all eyes looking at me, i never felt that kinda pressure before..and i missed.

kinda sad,, i was crying later..lol...then i realise that i was crying i cried even harder..lol..i felt so ridiculus but i cant stop..was quite emo la..but it was nothing la. Wei Ern was there with me, he msged me earlier saying he has to conduct tuition in his house, but surprisingly he turned up to see me play, that was really sweet of him..he actually cancelled his tuition so he could watch me play. =p thanks alot..i really appreciate that..=) BUT YOU WERE playing squash..hm...=/ i kinda guessed it when u dissapeared about 15 minutes..LOL

at 9pm, have CF committee meeting.

they were choosing new committee members for CF team for next year, and i cried, i duno why i cried, part of me was like...uhh...seniours are leaving..lol..part of me is like...there's this kinda feeling where u dont want to do it, but God is telling you to do it..? hahahaha...i felt like jonah..swallowed by a big giant fish..

at 12.30am, shower..yea..i stink all the way until midnite.

at 1am, went with jo-anne, shi wei n wen shan to McD kajang. (bluff ppl, saying open 24 hrs, joker..we all went there for the sake of sundae cone...im serious..from Nottingham to Kajang for Sundae Ice Cream. Boo...~!

then end back in Semenyih Ibrahim Maju. ate then..

at 3am, camp in TIscra(computer lab), tryin to do my assignments, wait for..

5am..so i can go climb broga Hill. yes..at 5am after everything.

Let me tell you what i did the day before..(meaning..on tuesday)

Note: before that,Monday,(6th April 2009) i slept at 5am, talking to my housemate regarding about sumthin while studying)

TUesday,(7th April 2009)
i have class at 1pm-2pm..so i could lie in abit longer.
went to class..then did my part of assignment..500 words in 45minutes.
then went out to eat early dinner at 6pm then came back for Talent Quest in Nottingham..enjoyed, then sat in the rain n walk in the rain back to my car, found out about sumting, then went super emo.. then just took my car and drove off at 11pm-ish back to Cheras..just to find a reason to drive.

Wei Ern followed me. He accompanied me even though he do not know wad was happening to me. he just followed me. i felt irritated abit because he is there, but thankful that he was with me during that time. he got scolded by mum later on the phone when he told his mum that he was not coming back home that nite and i felt super bad. im sorry..T_T

i was at BRJ then thinking about hock ann, so i called him and he agreed to come out and meet me even without thinking. i was surprised. what surprised me even more was later after a few minutes he arrived, Ronald came too, then Lokman whom ive never seen him for at least 8 years. lol..i was so surprised i nearly cried. so we talked about things..lol..wei ern felt so out of place. (did you?)

then later they told me about their latest 'hobby'..which is catching prawns..yes..ur not reading it wrong..seriously, catching prawns. its located near the mamak, and they show me how they catch them...lol...fishing is fishing fish, so catching prawns is..prawing? LOL okok..its really fishing for prawns in a water container made of simen and tiles. then grab a fishing rod with a bait made out of chicken gizzard. its quite an expensive game...lol...rm 10 per hr? or is it 15? but its quite addictive you see..lol...but with rm 10-15 ringgit, i cant go CC and DOTA till my eyes bulge out..lol..

anyway, they did catch sum and you keep the catch..and Ron caught two before i left. i got to play with it..=) Ron apparently forgotten how i like creepy crawlies.=)

then i too GG to drive back, Wei Ern drove my car back to nottingham, reach nottingham at around 4am.

*there, this is my life..LOL..and now its 4.10am..in about 50 mins i'll be off to climb broga hill with my business group of frens. =)

seriously, i duno how long will i collapse. i pray that i wont.

love,
pei wern.

Kopi tarik

2009-04-05T12:09:00.000-07:00

It's 3.10am in the morning and im not doin anything..with shi wei n wai ken n jin yu.after a glass of hot kopi tarik i still can fall asleep..just print out sumthin for my assignment.

Yest was my Uni's annual dinner and it was ok. paying rm 125 for the purpose of to See and Be Seen. LOL...it was good in the sense of getting to know some of my coursemates in the afterparty..lol...talk to ppl that i havent met before or talk at all...(my uni quite big la..) my coursemates num is around 100+..ok..its not being be anti-social..it was indeed fun except for sum mishaps.

overall, i kinda enjoyed the day..parts of it of course, met alot of nice ppl. =)

then sunday...

i met up with my good fren, Joseph New.

i miss him so much and im so happy to meet back him. im relieved that he's doin ok in his life so far, its a hard journey but keep it up! *hugs*

i need to improve too. my IQ is dropping..lol..and my communication skills is getting worse..sigh..

im trying...
but there's alot of hindrances..alot. in sense of my emotions and physical capabilities, and i pray that it would not affect me that much.

My priority is to get my grades up again and able to enter MAPCU or the TRINotts games for Basketball. so other problems..please fuck off?

daily rumblings

2009-03-22T23:34:00.001-07:00

i'm starting to feel dumber n dumber by the minute..(the syllabus din not help but amplified it more.) there is so much to be done. but so lil time..i felt that the time is flying so fast, im just trying to grab the end of it. hanging on to dear life..( imagine it..its funny)

now im having my break from my classes, frens went to eat, but i nid to settle sum stuffs regarding about my INteractive Learning Barometer that suppsoe to measure my learning capabilities. well, ive submitted it earlier but i did not get my email to confirm my enrolment..so rite now..i couldnt do the survey, which the due date was so be today. >_< ive told my lecturer and he told me to try again, i did, but the mail still havent come yet. so im worried and im so damn frustrated. still waiting for another class to start at 3pm then ends at 5pm. then later move on to frisbee Ultimate Hat league (din noe i play frisbee lehh...coz i noob) lol..anyway, then after that, dinner then bible study with my frens in tts5 then got worship practise.

monday is the most busiet day of the week...and some ppl say business school is sooo free..(dunoo hu leh?)

i still have to design a logo for my hall. and i dun have ideas! argh..why why why.. i had one but mun yee said that unless if i want to get sued, use that idea, app its too close with the nottingham's logo, so i have to think again.

i am still sick, and wei ern keep telling me that my body temperature is abnormal as i am abnormally warm and he kept suspecting that im having fever, but im too numb to even care or notice, until i end up in the clinic for blood test. my mum suspect that im having dengue fever..and wei ern suspect i have chikgugunya fever as i always felt really tired. ( i think its because i always sleep late) >_<

sigh..its almost time for class now. its been long i've ever written so long a blog entry. ( im practising for my upcoming Econs Assignments! LOL..2000 words...hmm..)

depressed.

2009-03-20T22:23:00.000-07:00

dunno why, i felt that my braincells are in comma mode these few weeks.

1. i felt that i talk like a bimbo lately.
no one deserve to hear what im talking about unless i would try to talk like a normal person.im serious..*sigh.

2. i felt that i cant describe in words how i feel.
(about anything) everything just went numb, like all my senses are gone.

3. i think im starting to feel depressed.
hahaha..

4. i felt inadequate.
my studies, my sports, my hobbies..lol

5. i miss my frens..alot.
so lil time, so many to meet up but couldnt have the chance because of my workload. the timing sucks too. sumore its towards the end of my semester for year 1 and i did not really study, i spend most of my time sleeping..>_<

2009-03-16T23:33:00.000-07:00

i seem to get back on track on loads of stuffs lately,

it happens when i start to fast again..God seems to reveal alot of things to me.

LOL, and oddly enough..its always food that tries to tempt me..lol...when im fasting its always..almost any type of food could tempt me..lol..

okies, back to the topic..

God revealed to me that there is a need among of my frens, so i felt the urge to pray n fast at the same time. it makes me felt more in touch to Him more than anything. i felt Him more closer to Him than ever, and the feeling it's great! =)

it prompt me to fast when i keep losing my ground, i keep focusing on the wrong things..until i used that to counter my own feelings..lol

after ive been dating this guy..lol.. i keep thinking about him.

i just couldnt comprehend this, human love is so fragile and intense,...what about God's love?

if i could think of him nite and day, and waiting for his msges, what about Him? willing to send his only son to die for all of us on the cross?

He's always waiting for us..to say that we love Him...lol...i dun know how to describe it, but the feeling's awesome.

okies, gotta work on my assignments! =)

screwed

2009-03-07T06:47:00.000-08:00

haha..yesh.

alot of things happened, since i did not blog for a very long time..lol...

on 6th of march 2009, i got SUMMON-ed.

and it was 4.30am in the morning..LOL...after DoTa-ing in a local CC.

and its not compoundable. i have to be in court on april sumthin.lol

for what? driving in a opposite direction in a one way street. LOL.. lucky weh..lucky!

sigh..duno how to tell me dad.. =/

RYAN!

2009-02-21T08:41:00.000-08:00

aw.

thanks for the Godiva Chocos. but i really wanna scold you LA! wthell, u better manage ur money rite or else..ur gona be a homeless dude! wat is wrong with you? sending chocolates to me n merie while ur at US? ish..i do worry about you, RYAN.

take care n god bless. i know ur reading this. lol. happy belated valentine's day to you.

Is this what romance looks like? from Msn..

2009-02-14T09:50:00.000-08:00

some short stories that i've came apon while 'renovating' my blog..lol..its really sweet.

Sickness and Health

"Is that your husband?" The ER nurse is pointing to you, the fever-spiked lump who is snoring softly and muttering beside me. We've been here for hours, and for hours I've returned my lips over and over to your scalding forehead, as if to cool it, or, perhaps, to comfort myself. In just a little while longer, we'll find out that what you have is a severe case of strep, and you will swallow the prescribed pills, and I will finally put my lips to your quietly sleeping forehead and feel a welcome coolness.

But for now the nurse's face is creased with compassion and weariness — she is waiting — and it's not really the right time to tell her about your gentle strength: the way you rocked our baby in the sling for hours on end while you graded papers, rocked another baby three years later while you did your anatomy homework, babies peacefully asleep across your broad chest for what feels like my entire adult life. It's not the right time to explain what a funny contradiction you are, a hockey-playing massage therapist, or how just last week you lay your hands on a friend's father while he lay dying in hospice.

She wouldn't understand how funny it is that you gave me bedtime coupons — promising to turn in early on the nights I redeem them — because you're a night owl and I miss you in bed, or how it feels when I come down in the morning to a toasty kitchen because you've already lit a fire in our wood stove. She doesn't know that I'm strangely euphoric, sitting here thinking about how lucky I am to have so much to lose — my rock, my mystery, the love of my life — that I'm sitting here thinking in sickness and in health. I will, I think. I do. But all I can say is yes. "Yes. That's my husband."

Catherine Newman is the author of Waiting for Birdy.

Work and Play

A few months ago, when my husband and I transitioned our son, Sawyer, into a big-boy bed, he refused to nap alone. We explained that we couldn't sleep with him; there was no room in his bed. Of course, he found a loophole. "Sleep next to my bed," he said. "There's room on my rug." Except he kept peeking over his guardrail to giggle at the sight of us. "Use my blanket and build a tent and you lie under it on the rug," he said, "so I don't see you." From our hideout in the tent, we kept still, listening to our little boy rustling like a safari cub.

When Sawyer's breath began to ebb and flow more evenly, I plotted our escape in my mind, then blurted out loud, "Uh oh." Sawyer stirred. I whispered the problem in Geoffrey's ear: "I left my glasses on his nightstand." Geoffrey ducked out to rescue my specs. Sawyer rolled over on his pillow, sighed, and smacked his lips. Geoffrey barely made it back into the tent without waking him. If we tried to leave now, we'd risk Sawyer's hearing the creak of floorboards, the doorknob's click, our dog panting in the hallway.

We didn't dare. We stayed put. Strewn about the rug, the whole Crayola rainbow, plastic dinosaurs, and hardened crumbs of Play-Doh. Along the rug's perimeter, Sawyer had lined up an assortment of toy cars that belonged to my husband when he was a boy. Geoffrey plucked a tiny metal wagon from the lot and whispered in my ear, "I used to put a peanut in this." He hitched it to an old-fashioned yellow car and towed it over my shoulder. It tickled. He put his hand over my mouth to stifle my laugh. I heard a crayon break under the weight of my back. But Sawyer was breathing deeply now, having drifted into the peaceable hum of sleep. I thought we would ready ourselves to leave.

Instead, Geoffrey picked up the stubby end of a green crayon and a ragged piece of construction paper. He drew a hangman hook and the dotted lines of a secret message. I grinned. Geoffrey rolled the crayon toward me so that I could use it to guess a letter. Then I rolled it back to him. I got the first few wrong. One by one, Geoffrey drew a head, a long center line for the body, both legs and a foot. He had the same smirk on his face as when he beats me at tennis — not at all sorry. "Give up?" he mouthed, then filled in the puzzle: You are my sunshine. With the length of my arm, I swept away the mess and snuggled in close.

Pari Chang's essay "Pregnant Pause" appears in the newly published anthology Behind the Bedroom Door, edited by Paula Derrow.

Cream and Sugar

I've been married to Jason for over 17 years. Which means I've woken up beside him something like 46,225 times. That's a really nice thing, easing into the new day with a person you dig. And whether one or both of us are rushing out the door with the kids during the week or we're savoring the horizontal-friendly nature of the weekends, our mornings always kick off the same way: with coffee.

One morning a while back, on a day when I was lucky enough to be the last one up, I bumbled downstairs, went to pour my first cup, and found a little scribble of a note next to the freshly brewed pot.

Three words: Wake up sleeper.

It made me ridiculously happy. There were a few things at work here. There was the white mug thoughtfully pulled from the cabinet and placed on the counter, there was the steamy jet-black coffee waiting to be poured, and there was the message, with its undertones of both comfortable domesticity and flirty middle-school note-passing. I promptly tucked it away for safekeeping.

He was back at it the next morning. And the next. And the next. He wrote on whatever was handy — scraps of paper, backs of envelopes, hotel stationery, Post-its — and about whatever was on his mind.

Some, like the first, were simple a.m. greetings:
First cup and Welcome to the day

Some seemed to have an audible, built-in sigh:
What a week and Keep parenting

Some commemorated a family milestone:
Last Saturday in this house and 16 years!

Some focused on our couple-ness, which is to say putting our parenting purposely out of focus:
City dwelling, late night eating partner! and Super weekend with you

And one was composed of just eight letters and a symbol:
Everyday ♥

I don't think Jason knows I saved these notes, each and every one, in an envelope in the cupboard. We never talked about this exchange; somehow it became a silent, sacred ritual. Which is precisely why, without warning or fanfare, this issue of Redbook will be left open to this very page ... and placed right next to our coffee pot.

Amy Krouse Rosenthal is the creator of "The Beckoning of Lovely," a YouTube project, and the author of Encyclopedia of an Ordinary Life.

Valentine's Day Clues =)

2009-02-14T09:16:00.000-08:00

Mabel tips on making a gurl feel special on Valentine's day.

1. Love letters in Books?
get the book that she is currently reading, highlight the words that you want her to read. instead of writing a love letter, highlight the words that u want to use to write ur 'letter'.

for innovation, you could even use electronic reading materials...hm..her journals that she suppose to read for assignments? LOL..

or just buy her a book from her favourite author, then highlight the words for ur 'letter' then giftwrap it. =)

2.<
14 Stalks of Roses
give her one stalk of long stem roses from the 1st day of feb till on the special day..give her a bouquet of roses.

3. Jigsaw My Life?
instead of the hassle of goin out on a fine dining date then movies kinda date, why not spend time together fixing up a jigsaw together? then u can chat without being so self concious about urslf, its romantic? lol..hahaha..becareful with the puzzle when ur making out! dun want jigsaw marks on ur back..! lol..

4. Our Songs
burn a CD of your favourite songs then customize the cover and all..simple?

hmm..anyway..if the gurl really likes you, she'll love anything or everything that you do, so dun fret about it ya? the best tip that i could give anyone, guys or even gurls..just do the things that you like with each other even though you felt like its so simple and not special at all..just fuck it will ya? lol..Valentine's day is suppose to be between the two people, not with the rest of the frens around you. so why do you care about what others thinnk about it? so what if sum of ur frens go for typical fine-dining dinner and whatnots? for all i know, i think the guys would be like.."OMG, the bill!" lol..the flowers! the ticket! the chocolates!

enjoy ppl. and for the singles...dun emo alrite? your day will come. =)
in the meanwhile, party on with ur closest frens! =) cheers.

Never to late! =) bday report!

2009-01-21T08:42:00.001-08:00

ahaha..sorry la...now only i blog about my bday...on 4th of january 09..lol..actually its 3rd, 4th n 5th...lol

i celebrated my 20th bday for three times with three diff group of frens this year! thats why its so special...coz i get to celebrate with almost! all my frens.. =/

okay, lets start on the 3rd Jan 08

date: 3rd Jan '09
time: 7.30pm
venue: Itallianies, the Garden.

i plan to have it on 3rd coz its on sat and my mum says 4th (sunday) go eat with my relatives..so it has to be on 3rd jan..so fun..count dwn to my bday! =)

a weeek before that, i've actually booked the place with my mum n sis for 27 people. and the manager says that he's gonna make a menu for me. but the days later he called me up and say its to expensive to do that so mite as well call ala carte. so i say im ok.

then on that day itslf, the manager did NOT reserve the place for me, i was furious and thank God that me n my church frens arrive earlier to settle things and it was after my youth gathering. apparently, he thought i was not into the reservations because to expensive for me. so in the end, they have the place for me since th eplace was empty..the whole smoking section was for my party. it in a private section so its ok. after my dad seeing me so furious, he asked everyone to order what they want to eat. then the whole admosphere changed. thank god. i was able to morph back into lilnimf, not eyra anymore so everything went fine afterwards.

then later we took sum photos and i opened up my presents after a few rounds of drinks from my dad from the bar. thank you...got alot of ppl bought me chocos..! lol...WANT ME TO GET ADDICTED TO CHOCS? and necklace..why ar?LOL...necklace i i i ...i seldom wear but thanks alot ppl..lol

alice : for your WONDERFUL chocolate box with chocos in and out! LOL..and the book..! i've read finish and went to buy the second one today..=) *hugs thanks...!

shi wei: the present i got was awesome, its a razor mouse pad..!and you wore a dress! hwat! *wink wink..! after using that, it raises up my morale alot more..LOL and wit witness by our guru, hibiki-kun..i manage to first blood an insane computer..! while playing with hibiki and james pawn.. =P guys, this proves how bad my DOTA skills is..LOL

Leanne, Edmund, and Jin Yu: thanks for the chocos and the choco fondue! waaaaa...it is awesome! must come by my hse and try it wehhh! i wanna eat with you all 1st!! =P if can la..

brandon: ya got my hint! lol..thanks for the skull scarf, cool!

Siew Ling and Sonia: hwat hwat pants, im gonna wear it to uni..haha

Daesi & Enoch: cool necklace..can wear it for my dresses. =p

Terence: thank you for the gift!

Riana: thanks for the neclace too...hey..all necklace groupies..lol

Eu jin: hahahaha...shot glasses! hwappie...~

Mum: cinematic art of warcraft! whoa..loving it..~

Grace: naughty bracelets..!lol

hmm...spam me if i missed sumone..LOL

then we head on to POPPY's..

its the 1st time for me coz...ahahaa... i dun go illegal...hahaa..i broke it since i went in at age 20 instead of 21. its so different..so many grownups...LOL
meet up with jess n cax n wei n mun yee's cousins and frens..met liza there too! enjoyed myslf there..LOL..then we went to petaling street famous lou sueee funn...(shh..but i still prefer the one in broga...=))

Date: 4th Jan '09
Time: dinnertime.
venue: Pavillion

...i went to have dinner with my cousins n relatives..in pavilion i think..yea..chrystal jade.. have nice chat here and there..then go shoppin..lol

Date: 5th Jan '09
Time: afternoon
Venue: sg wang, bkt bintang area.

meet up with the tts 5 gang with the 3 gurls..LOL..
ate papa john's pizza! niceeee....but why all itallian food??? lol
we ate n ate..its so fun..then i got the bill before CK does..LOL..yay! then i got a surprise!

a BArBIE DOLL( CNY ed. sumore! ) lol..from the gang..coz they heard me saying when i was young i played with guns instead of dolls..lol...so its kinda funny coz its all pink! anyway..apparently CK wont want to leave it alone..and the cake fortunately..LOL..cant be allowed coz no other is food allowed in papa johns...LOL..so we decided to eat in uni..then jac geve me this super cute make up set..LOL..its so pretty...awww... =)

then we went for PURIKURAs..(sticker pictures..!) ahahaha...3 6 ft tall ppl trying to fit inside the small picture taking machine with all other ppl...lol...you guys should be there to witness it..damn funny! finally we managed to do that...seriously..next time, if you see me, ask me for that pic, its in my wallet all the time with a few personal sticker pictures of mine.

i had fun..! and i love all of you! you are one awesome group of frens..!

Date: 6th Jan '09
Time: noontime
Venue: Leisure mall, cheras.

ahahha...this time i meet up with Merie whos back from Spore and dear Ivy..we ate chee cheong fun and we drank starbucks! i just love their ice blended chocolate without chips..LOL..ahh..then we catch up with almost everything...love the time being with them..its like i can tell anything to them..=) we then head to Ivy's hse..and play with her lil puppy! awwwww..* so damn cuteeeeeee! aaaaaaa....then i went back to uni..

then the tts 5 ppl went to our room and brought cake for me..lol..we did not cut the cake coz lazy and dun have enuf plates..we just ate everything with spoon, but spoon were not enuf so we actually played indian poker just for the fun of it to see who uses chopstick to eat the cake! tadah..! the winner of the chopstick eater is,....(drumroll please!....) WONG WY HOONG..lol...then i feed each one in the room with alice, jac n shi wei cake..LOL...we had it shape like a pie sign..lol...i duno why..then in the end, faith the black hole finished everything....lol...then we went mamak.! LOL...geng leh..? black hole...thats why i've gain like 2 kg..after that..LOL//

well..thats about it on how i've spent my bday with so many diff ppl and im soooo glad that you guys came for my bday celeb.. and thanks for being my frens..although sumtimes or most of the times i did not appreciate you, i apologised. i will try to be better. =/

condoms and free meals. hmm..

2009-01-21T08:25:00.000-08:00

just now danial was cheering me up with sum forum..low yat forum i guess, in the cupid's corner.

yea, i was feeling down because of sumthin. its about sumthin that i 've forgotten and i know i should not have forgotten it since its important,..to be so perasan again, i think i 've hurt sumone again.

regarding about the forum, i've read sumthin really stupid.

sum asshole actually slept with a gurl because of a free meal. what kinda scumbag is that? and just for a free meal, he had a free gift, a bun-in-the-oven..! (meaning; yea..she's pregnant.)

come on...he sound like a duck to me..lol.

when i was reading that, i try not to laugh coz its so crazy..im so sorry for the baby, wonder what he felt when he's all grown up..(if he's not aborted, that is..)and ppl told him that he was conceived by his parents because his dad wants a free meal n sex and the mum just want to have sex? he's asking for advises in the forum, and sum ppl wants the baby to get aborted, im kinda against abortion, but with these kinda future parents, im blank.

and....surprise surprise! no condoms..the penoreh getah spends their time and bending their backs just to milk rubber trees for a reason. lol..luckly condoms have other uses so ive heard..(other than blowjobs and all) for expeditions of course..=)

they can be used as water retainers when u dun have a things that can retain water with you in the jungle, but u carry condoms in ur pocket..hmm..for whatever reasons...? LOL...as long as u dont do it with monkeys..( thanks to that, we are exposed to the infamous AIDS)another random fact, what if its flavored ones? LOL.. and to keep ur radio transmitters in the jungle without getting wet..hmm...if you discover other uses, please to email me? LOL...or at least reply me..we must share facts...its important!

bablablablabla...

Blog wars.

2009-01-12T22:24:00.000-08:00

hm...i know i should be either practising my maths or revising for my economics but i choose to blog.

alot of things had happened to myslf and others esp my gurlfrens.

Blog wars.

hmm..i remembered really well when i was one of the victim of a close fren's blog wars. she said sumthin nasty about me in her blog...for ecg. calling me a two face bitch. hmm..dosent hurt anymore but anyway..during that time with all my mite i try not to retort back in HER blog. its maybe because i understand the term, personal opinion. if she has this kinda opinion about me, its HErs, not mine, so i dont give a FLYING FUCK. but on the other hand, i wrote back my feelings in my blog. anyway, blog is suppose to be a place where ppl could express one's feelings and thoughts..( thats what i thought) but i du think so, if you want to say sumthing really really bad about sumthing, just remember, consequences comes with RESPONSIBILITIES. im not judging, im just stating my POINT of VIEW In my OWN blog. if you willling to write what you stand for, and others dont believe, you have to stick with it. and you know that ppl are different, they dont think alike, so they dont think like you do. so there's likely gonna be conflit.to those ppl that leaves really bad things or their own thoughts in other ppl's chatbox, please dont be so rude, i know you are furious of those statements, but what to do? its a freedom of speech. anyway, all of them are my frens, there's things that agree on and things that i dont.

as my own opinion, clubbing. yes, i do clubbing and i did a fair share of stupid stuffs too. ( dont laugh Terence...*ahahaha) well, thats when i woke up tomorrow and kinda got ambarrassed of what i did too. i am not proud of what i do in clubs sumtimes when i get to high or tipsy, but if you ask me to aviod clubs all together, i wont really coz i like goin to clubs.With a group of solid frens of course. i love to drink and dance with my frens, and i only go when i have a reason to go. but when i talk to my older frens, they say its just a phase, eventually you will grow out of it. my opinion is, if im young, i want to play, what i like to eat, what i like to drink, what crazy stuff i want to do, i'll do..moderately of course, coz you can only be young once. doin crazy stuffs dont mean that you would skinny dip in sum mining pool or having a one nite stand, but try to do sumthin that in your lifetime that you wanted to do. and set it as a goal to either build up ur self esteem or confidence( or is it the same?) lol..

my experiences are very important to me, they are what i am now, good or bad and i never regretted anythings that i did. ( i realised) Bad experiences dont mean that they could make you be bad, it depends on how you react during that situation. i always believe that everything happens for a reason. and god would never let you face sumthin that you could not handle. i can bet this with my life.

when my dad's best fren and his wife came back from Aust to visit malaysia, he ask me sumthin that really interesting question. one of it was, " what's the diff between highskool life and uni life?"

my ans to that question was, highskool life is still being sheltered by ur family and the principles that you hold and learn as you grow up in that famly. your frens are almost the same as you, everyone wears uniform and go through the same thing as you. (almost) but when you reach uni, everything change. more freedom not only in the sense of dressing but also in everything else. smoking is almost normal in your group of frens, and free from parents, more parties, booze, sex, drugs.

now, everything that i've learn last time growing up was all stated clearly on what is 'black' and 'white'..but after myslf entering uni in the summer of 2007, everything was in the shade of 'grey'. i am force to make desicions that i have never make before that could determine the course of my life. i am force in a given situation to either make a stand of all the principles that build me or break everything (the heck with it or fuck it) the principles that had build me of what i am now.

even i was brought up in a christian family and an active youth serving in church, i was shaken. afterall, im still human, but! but God is always with me even though in some situations, i wish He was not there to see me. i wish to hide from Him, i ran away from Him ( and i finally felt how adam and eve felt when they ate the forbidden fruit in the garden of eden.) i was ashamed, humilitated. but as in the bible, God Provided them clothing to clothe them from nakedness. as how i felt when i let God back into my life.

clearly , it was an emotionall roller coaster for me, but trust me, if you choose to ride it with God, you'll have fun.
random thought. God is three in one rite? The Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit.
imagine this, the Father is controlling the roller coaster, the Son is Sitting beside you in the roller coaster and the Holy Spirit is your insurance. Perfect. LOL..~

have a nice day everyone. =)

Tagged by AaronQ

2009-01-09T06:45:00.000-08:00

Its been a long time since i've been tagged. here goes..

Questions are as follows :
1. How much do you spend for clothes per month?

Honestly, i don't know..lol..if i dont go shopping, it'll be zilch. But if i go shopping, ahahahha...i can spend rm 200 in one go. ( okey, freak some ppl now, didnt i?) erm...clothes seldom buy dy also coz my closet is full of them and i havent wear most of them, i usually collect the clothes rather than wearing them..LOL. those whom has seen my wardrobe, they would understand..LOL! (right, vanessa, alice n shi wei?) if anyone of you notice, i did not repeat my clothings during my whole semester one of year one. LOL...jeans and bottoms dont count la..LOL. >_<

2. Who is more important to you?Friends or boy/girlfriend?

Both. Friends have been with me for like, ages and my boyfren would be (if God willing) be together till we get married, well, he's gonna stick with me Forever if he's my husband! lol..friends is like my beginning..then bf would come later rite? Both has the SAME importance. But what i want to say is, ecg: my frens is in deep shit, i will help my fren, if my bf dont understand, then he wont be my boyfren. ecg; i want to spend time with my bf but my fren's call just for casual yam cha, then i would just say i want to spend time with my bf and yam cha next time. it really depends. Both must understand that both are really important to me no matter what.

3. How often do you think about committing suicide?

hhaha..! i duno. but i did once i remember it quite vividly..it was during form 5 where i was suffering from add maths n maths alike. my maths teacher was no help either. she always target me as the weakling for maths and she always forced me to sit with the smartest gurl in school to help me with my maths. luckly that gurl was one of my close frens but in a way, i still fell insulted. the teacher always say things like, " in my years of teaaching, never a gurl in a class would get B in the first class. i wont want you to be the 1st one. never, so you better buck up." my books were chucked by her and folded and plenty of corrections and i was always not allowed to leave the classroom even if i really have to go to the loo or on duty as a prefect. im serious.! so, after nearly a year and a half, when she scolded me again, i nearly want to run out of the classroom and jump out of the balcony. im serious. a voice telling me to jump down and end everything. sigh..that was the closest to thinking of committing suicide. (btw, i still HATE maths..LOL)

4. Do you think you have enough confidence?

i dont know, i think so. =/ depends on which situation.

5. How many babies do you want?

Omg weh..! duno. i wont have three. the middle's always (generally) often neglected. so..i think 2? lol..twins is the best coz once is enough. LOL..If i WANT to get HITCHEd, that is. =P

6. Do you believe in seeing a rainbow after the rain?

duhh...yeap! its beauuu-tiful. ahh, reminds me of NS. =)

7. What is your goal for this year?

if you read my previous 2 blogs, you would know. =)

8. What kept you of being who you are?

i dont even know who i am, so i cant really ans you that? i kept myslf from being who i am? who am i ? besides, there's always a factor that change sumone to be sumtin else, humans are not stagnant. humans change. so...(shruggs*)

9. What's a perfect girlfriend/boyfriend like to you?(List 10)

ten? wow..hmm
1.respect (not just me, but himslf and humans and every other creations that God's has created)
2.walk the talk ( talk dont impress me much, you can promise me the moon, stars, and sun..Actions speaks louder than words, since i like to observe.)
3.honour ( able to honour God, and everyone else)
4.companionship ( able to do things with me)
5.humour( serious at the right time, funny at the right time)
6.outgoing( able to be get along with all of my frens)
7.mature in thinking ( physical age dont really matter, his mental age MATTERS)
8.integrity ( he has to have integrity)
9.hardworking
10.loving ( what is love? find it in the bible! =P)

the question's asking for perfect ma.
of course, physically.. as long as i like. =P

10. What are you really afraid of?

You. ahahaha..uh..the dark?

11. What are your bad habits?

greatest drawbacks, i like to play with my hair while i am studying, scratching my scalp while concentrating doin my work, DOTA..lol, Swearing? Scratch my face. hmm..seldom smile? nyaaaaa~

12. Is there anything you wanna tell the people who hate you?

dont hurt yourslf, love ME.(lol) random-nya..seriously, i would say, "I dont give a FLYING F***."

13. State a random fact about yourself

i have symptoms of mild bipolar. (random enuf?)

14. What does flying means to you?

F***? ( refer back to question 12. lol~) randomness... okok
Flying means sitting on a big winged object.(aeroplane?)
also means in Hyperbole: ( in my own words) being free.?

15. What do you crave for most currently?

Dota. lol~ food..sleep?

16. Most unexpected gift you received so far and when?

Just a few days ago..lol on my bday (4th Jan) Choco Fondue!? lol..thanks ed, leanne, denny n jin yu. =)
just so many chocos..LOL they must know im STREss..LOL..aww *hugs, thanks babes. and other really cool gifts too! =)

17. Describe the person who tagged you.Honestly.

He's smart. seriously. lol..and he's really nice. =)

18. What have you done to yourself that makes yourself happy?

eat. ALOT. erm..buy graphic collectibles? im contented when the ppl's around me are good.

19. What will you become in another 10 years to come?

hmm..ten years..means im 30..! T_T uhh.. i think,i would be married? LMAO..
and having a career? whatever that wil be. i hope and pray that it would be good.

20. If you can choose how you want to end your life,how would it be?

being raptured. LOL

hwappie!

2009-01-04T07:23:00.000-08:00

i felt so blessed by fren's wishes and blessings! =D

sigh, im 20 already..no more nineTEEN or eighTEEN..but TWENTY..not TWENTEEN like my fren joked about.

being old has its pros and cons....

pro:

*i have much say in everything now. im an adult..already.
*more clubs to enter! lol
*hmm...

cons:

*more RESPONSIBILITIES
*OLD,OLD,OLD!
*closer to working age...
*nid a closer watch on my actions.
*ppl's gona bug me about....*doom..relationships soon..* thank God my family wont..but. but..i know who will.....*feeling dreadful. >_<

sigh...study!
later only post all my pre n post bday! =)

My 2009 resolution.

2009-01-02T09:15:00.000-08:00

1. Learn to Love myslf. ( yea..for my fren's endless nagging asking me to love myslf. u know hu u are)
2. Dont Fucked up ppl's life. ( yea, ive done enuf.)
3. Dun be a Fucking asshole. ( opps..i think i already broken my 1st & 7th resolution)
4. Get back with God. ( thank God that He's a merciful God.)
5. Start Fasting again.( no. its not because i've gained weight.)
6. Get my Artistic Streak back. ( it'll happen soon enuf, since its always triggered by emotions.)
7. Stop Swearing so Much. ( not completely.)
8. Determine what i really want in my life.
9. Get and Maintain a 65 average in my studies.
10. Learn to be abit positive. ( the glass is..err...half--emmmm...ok..half full)

ok. now the hardest part is to keep at least one of it throughout the whole year.
...!

New Year

2009-01-01T23:16:00.001-08:00

New Year, 2009.

whats new?

problems carried on forward.

new year resolution?

not to be so fucked up.

drinkin nite.

2008-12-23T09:20:00.000-08:00

last nite, had a fight with mum n sis. then made up.

then went out to kaki corner with wayne, hock ann n eu jin.

end up eating escargots, drinking beer.

then end up in eu jin's hse, open malibu and bacardi. drinking all nite until im tipsy. sent back home, cried till i sleep.

yeap.

wedding? what the F?

2008-12-23T07:12:00.000-08:00

as i was logging in, i opened msn, and i saw sumthin really funny.

The Best Wedding Proposals of 2008
Compiled by Anja Winikka.

then i was like.."hmm..sumthin to read about"
then there was this, my favourite ones.. *hehe

these are like really cute n original and its simple. like this one..*ahh...~

Story Book Proposal
"He took me out to dinner, and afterward we went to Barnes & Noble. We meandered over to the children's books section to pick up a few Christmas presents, and then he pulled a little red book off the shelf and said, 'Oh look, what's this?' The book was called, Fun with Emily and Jarrod, kind of like a Dick and Jane book, but instead, it was the illustrated story of our relationship. He read it to me, and at the end, the 'Jarrod' in the book had a pressing question to ask the 'Emily'...and he pulled out the ring and proposed! The last page of the book said, 'The beginning...'"

The Right Words
"He took me to a local rose garden to play Scrabble. It was a travel Scrabble board where the letters stick in place, so when I opened the board and saw letters already in place, I thought, I don't think we were in the middle of a game. I took a second look, and saw that he had spelled, "Laura, will you marry me?" When I looked up at him, he was on his knee holding out the ring. We haven't taken the letters off of that board since."

others is like, really..only rich ppl could do it...for example..

Swimming with Dolphins
"On Valentine's Day we found ourselves on a small island just off of Paradise Island swimming with the dolphins. They did the cutest tricks: danced with us, kissed us, and dove to the ocean floor to retrieve 'presents' for us. James' dolphin came up with only a pebble, but my dolphin handed me a big white box, in which was my engagement ring!"

(comments: dolphins..hmm..if u have a rich dude)

Top of the World
"My dad had plans to fly to a business meeting in a helicopter, but things fell through and there was an extra seat, so he invited me to go up with him and my mom for a ride. We flew into the Rockies and were getting close to Fisher Peak when my Dad said, 'Hey Cas, what's that?' And there was Evan on the highest part of the tallest mountain holding a sign that read, 'CAS, WILL YOU MARRY ME?' My mom passed me a gift bag with a ring inside. It usually takes about four hours to get off of the mountain, but Evan was on one knee at our front door an hour later."

(comments: sweat la..top of the world, if u can have that load of money..pfffftttt...>_<)

still got many funny ones..dubbed by msn the worst proposal in 2007 (btw, picked sum, not all..)

Vegas, Baby
"I was eating lunch at my desk two weeks after starting a new job. Joe called me and asked if I'd like to go to Vegas with him that weekend and spend the rest of my life with him. There was no bended knee, no handholding, no eye contact, no kiss...I just said, 'Um, okay,' and he responded, 'Okay, love ya. Bye!.' Click."

(comment: both are stupid)

Showered With Love
"As I was showering, I saw him walk into the bathroom with his laptop in his hands. It was playing a romantic R&B song called 'Let's Chill.' He placed the laptop on the toilet and started dancing. I thought he was nuts and started laughing. He then proceeded to step into the shower with all of his clothes on. I shrieked, 'What are you doing?!' His response, 'Baby, I love you.' I shrieked back to him, 'I love you too, but get outta here. Your clothes are getting wet!' Then he slowly bent down on one knee, took out the ring box, opened it, and asked me to marry him."

(comment: ew!loser.)

Up High and Uneasy
"At the last minute, we decided to climb Snowmass Mountain in one day. It's a 14,092-foot peak and all the guidebooks say that it's a two-day hike. At the top, I plopped down on a giant rock. Travis came over and held my hand. I was so sick from the climb and the altitude, I quickly pulled my hand away and told him I thought I was going to puke. He took my hand back and said, 'Don't throw up, marry me.'"

(comment: ahahaha..this is funny!)

Déja Vu in Paris
"On our first night in Paris, Paul suggested we go to the Eiffel Tower. At the top, he reached into his pocket to dig out the ring, and I blurted out, 'I can't believe Tom Cruise proposed to Katie Holmes up here. It's so ugly!' He didn't propose then. Before we left for the airport to return home, we were sitting in this garden behind Notre Dame. Paul explained he didn't really enjoy the vacation because he was so nervous, and then told me that he had tried to propose on the trip several times. I felt horrible and sat silent for a few moments before he said, 'I can't take it anymore!' and got down on one knee in the middle of the park and proposed."

(comment: this is actually funny and cute, but poor guy..=) at least she knows how much that guy loves her. ahahhaha)

ahahahaha...that was fun..*for me anyway..sigh. marriage..*shudders. boyfrens..*shudders..*hides inside blankets reads manga. =)

what i did on Christmas week.

2008-12-23T06:51:00.000-08:00

ah..what i did yest.

i was depress, looking for chocos but not enough to satisfy me, so i swtich to foods.

met up with my mum's fren and their kids. (age 13, 11 and 9)

i was nervous on:

what to wear.
(seriously, ahahaha...i want to show a good example on what to wear and how to act..so its so freaking funny for my mum n sis seeing me trying on clothes more than i do on choosing clothes for dates. not like i go for dates anymore..but anyway.in the end, i end up in a miniskirt, a tank top, belt and flats. hm...the usual me..so why waste time picking, sweat rite? lol..)

what will i say to them:
(my gosh, i suddenly felt im sooo OLD! lol..duno what to talk about with them..the eldest want to watch Gossip girl..i dont know how to tell her that its a super bitchy show in a nice way..and when the lil 9 yearold boy start telling jokes, which is pretty funny! i cant shout, "what the Hell?" lol..so it was pretty awkward..lol..and loads more. when i look at them, they remind me of them..minus the IPOD and changgih handphones..=P they reminded me of me n my sis when we were growing up. we like to read books and all. =) so finally had sumthin in common about. i literally watch the three of them since they're in their mom's belly till what they are now. it was an amazing journey. im imaginning my frens next time having kids..! i cant wait! =)

sigh, i fell so old! in just lil more than two weeks..im old! twenteen...my fren once joke with me..lol

sigh.

life shits and happy stuffs.

2008-12-22T06:04:00.000-08:00

many things happened. duno where to start.

there were sad times, hard times & more hard times. din really want to write about it..or just afaird of writing it heere and will offend sum ppl.

i just want to thank God for everything that i 've been through, even if it's a bad or a good one. i believe there's always a reason behind it.

im glad that i have frens that is always been there for me. Jesus, thank you for your endless support. and not to mention the 'angels' that he had sent for me. My parents, even they do not know what ive been through, since i dun want to burden them with my probs, i thank god for them by providing me things. Shi Wei, ur patience is 'limitless'..LOL..and im sorry for being an bitch and u choose to stick with me. *hugs hope to see you soon. Jakukurino..ahaha.. i wish you forever happiness with jon. Siew kwan, you ar! lol..*hugs action speaks louder than words. Mr Faith, ur singing annoys me but cheers me up everytime. ahahaha.. and others that stuck with me during this sem. and ainaa & danial. you guys helped me alot too! thanks for the dinner.. it was awesome..thanks. =)

hope to see everyone again on jan 8th!

stupid exam. damn stress now but not touching anybooks now..its goin to be christmas..! gimme a break =P

over and out.

Pressie!

2008-12-14T01:32:00.000-08:00

sumthin that i did to destress..~

Merry Christmas! =)

the legend of candy cane

2008-12-12T07:18:00.000-08:00

The Legend of Candy cane

Look at the candy cane- what do you see?

stripes that are red like the blood Jesus has shed for me and you.

white is for my saviour who's sinless and pure.

"J" is for Jesus, my Lord and Saviour, that's for sure.

Turn it around and a staff you shall see,

Jesus, my Shepherd was born for Me and YOU.

ah...all i want to do is drink cold milk and eat choco chip cookies... *smiling..and listening to my favourite christmas songs..one of them would be.."have yourself, a merry lil christmas~...

alrite! back to work! econs and CIB presentation coming up! >_<

crazy.

2008-12-05T08:19:00.000-08:00

today is Wai Ai Lyn and CK's Bday..!

opps...past 12 dy...so it was yest.. =)

all the best in their future undertakings...!!

ahem...back to me. What A CRAZY day...not to mention a very tiring one.. =P

it all started on thursday 3rd Dec 08.

getting ready to do props for CF upcoming event..Christmas Event..but no one turn up for that day. ( kinda expected) waiting for other ppl to transport things to the great hall balcony. so waited at the balcony listening to the songs that i have in my handphone. so many songs reminded me of so many things, esp all the memories of NAtional Service all came back to me since the place (nottingham) kinda reminded me of NS..lol..

then God always provide. never fails. brought in people to help the props team to finish what that needs to be done. =) it even brought sum of us closer together as frens and im really thankful for their help..

we've finish the task until 1 and we went for mamak then TTS5 guys also came and join us..lol..it was funny..12 ppl with diff personalities all sitting together..it always amaze me that ppl can be so different..

went back uni, packed up and went to the Sentinal..lol then let the games begin..!! unfortunately, the connection were not good, so in the end we kinda end up splitting the group and were force to play with AIs instead of ripping each oher throats in DOTA. lol..im happy coz i've found sum gurls other than Shi wei and Alice to play with so in the future, maybe the three of us and a couple more could form a team to enter sum competition! LOL...with lots of training and experience of course...LOL..

anyways, after an exausting game (learning to use Lina Inverse after learning to play Lich King) i was so tired i bunked into wei mein's bed. while sleeping , i still could hear Wei Mein and Bolwin's voice, which is very very loud..! lol..i think about and hour or so..they woke me up and asking me to dress for climbing Broga Hill. All of us did not sleep but decide to climb broga hill. excellent! lol..

the 8 idiots (me n the 7 guys) head out at around 5.30 am..with me and James driving. In my car, we blasted The Calling coz Faith tot it was the best substitute for Great Escape by Boys like Gurls. LOL...we trekked in and after i think about 40 minutes, we've reached the top. =)

the view was excellent. and we were in time to see the sun rise, then Frodo and Smeagel went up even higher while the rest of us were resting at our stop. we did crazy things, sing songs, shouted, running around, lol...what do you expect? 7 guys. supposingly this was a boy to men kinda activity, and im still wondering why im there. i have no good reason to be there..lol..no1, me not guy, no2, got assignemtns..lol. but i had fun admiring the scenery and the breeze. thus, because of 7 guys and a gurl. i was nicknamed Mabel and the 7 guys. lol..lame. after Frodo and Smeagel gayed, one of them fell and hurt himself..lol..then we climbed back dwn, showered, packed and head to a destinaiton for lunch. end up in metropoint KFC. Ck's bday so we planned to eat then bring him to Baskin Robbins..lol ordered two pints of ice-cream of his own choice of flavors; then let the fun begin..lol

each of us took turn to feed him with ice cream while he was blind folded..lol...which reminds me..( gary! Cj, James, i want the pics for today and all...=))

i had fun but there's things bugging me.

a msg for a fren,

dun get mad at me. im sorry. i still do not know how ive hurt you. please tell if u have a chance too.

that's my day. it was a gd morning. a blessed one.

funny..!

2008-12-02T00:51:00.000-08:00

it was 4.47pm..stressing on my four assignments..in the library, sitting alone to concentrate...

then..i swtich on my iTunes and listen to songs...found 'estranged-itu kamu' and played it full blast!

lol...in my earphone of course..then i start mouthing the words, following the drum beats..imagine..in the library...i was enjoying the moment..then suddenly...i opened my eyes then i saw 6 guys surrounded my table, and the word i shouted was..."WAT THE HELL?" then the group laughed..and the ppl in the library ''shHHhh...-ed me..'' lol....

so funny...alot of engineering ppl stress coz at 6 pm today they're gona have their 1st test this sem...lol...

thankful.

2008-12-01T23:13:00.000-08:00

so many assignments, social commitments, events...ahhh..

although assignments are nearing their deadlines...event when props team are having problems..even i have to attend burfday parties and meetings..

God, thank you for:

always being with me.. =)

-despite the storms in my life, however big or small..he is always there with me through words. the power of the word and worship.

sending angles to teman me eveywhere i go..

-sumthin awful had happened in my uni...4 of my uni ppl got attacked by ppl with machetes. one died in ICU. accident, appt the story was like this, the guys where in the wrong place at the wrong time. and it happened in broad DAYLIGHT. 12 o'clock...sigh, anything could happened in anywhere. despite me driving around uni and semenyih at 3am-4am ish...nothing happened and i thank God for this.

sending great frens to cheer and de-stress me..the pick me up when im down.

-great supporter and frens..if i could name everyone, i would, but i couldnt coz there's so many ppl..all i could say is..i love each and everyone of them.

funny, it made me laugh.

2008-11-26T00:17:00.000-08:00

( me, jac, alice and shi wei...LOL)

( thats me FYI...LOL)

( caveman and tanya thang scandal pic)

( faith the caveman)

(wen shan the alien...*eeek)

hahaha...im fine guys. coping..think nothin else but assignments.. =) thanks. *hugs

btw, this pics make me laugh..

instead of pain, laughter keeps alive. =) not to mention the frens...=) thank you.

my prayer

2008-11-18T09:24:00.000-08:00

damn lucky today.

my pendrive lost by a friend.

my car got knocked by a friend.

weeeEee~

this is my prayer to You O Lord.

Forever by Fireflight

Sometimes I feel so cold
Like I'm waiting around all by myself
Loneliness gets so old
I'm in the lost and found sitting on the shelf
Been stuck for way too long
But I hear Your voice
You're who I'm counting on

Oh, tell me You're here
That You will watch over me forever
Oh, take hold of my heart
Show me You'll love me forever

I know that You can tell
When I start to let my hope fade away
I need to catch myself
Open my ears to hear You calling my name
Been fighting way too long
But I hear Your voice
You had me all along

When I'm starting to drown
You jump in to save me
When my world's upside down
Your hands, they shake me and wake me

trojanised..!

2008-11-12T08:09:00.000-08:00

class not much, but assignments pilled up like hell.

spent two whole days to search for sources for my individual report..saved insde pendrive coz i've used lab computers. [ i forgotten to bring my laptop adapter to uni. so i nid to use bloody comp labs computers.] Lab COMPUTERS all have AIDS..lol...

my pendrive got contaminated, i put into my maccie..and guess what? maccie got sick. part of the pendrive. unecessary folders multiply...important folders when i click, it play hide n seek with me. i was in the library, was lauging so loud people were staring. i was so damn frusfrated. luckly Danial was there, he took my pendrive, stuck it on his laptop and determined to help me clear away the virus using his kapersky...it worked..im so happy..thank god for him... =)

i think i should buy sum protection for my maccie. although i like the new maccie [jon helge, watch out! im goin to kidnap ur new maccie... LOL =P ], this maccie will always be my 1st ever maccie. =)

in short, my datas were recovered and i am able to do my asignments again. =) thank God.

last sunday, i went for this 101 mall basketball street challenge, and my team mates consists of Shi Wei and Mabel Tan. Mabel's studying Master's in finance in NOtts..she's a fren of Pat. i learned alot during the competition. and i enjoyed the game. =)

although we manage to get 4th place, im happy..=)

Christmas is near, and CF notts is having sumthin..so stressful, so many things to brainstorm, so many things to settle..

need to find people to help me on props and hall decorations. (WEN SHAN, JOSEPH, SHI WEI, ALICE, MAGGIE)
and i need to find the actors and all...argh...plots...argh...ideas..ideas...draining all my brain...
not to mention there are so many meetings to attend, from basketball club to christian fellowship to Raleigh INternational..

my assignments are pilling up..sigh..all due on the month of sept.

STATUS:

ENB individual report. ( SOurces all available, ready to type) IMPORTANT!

ENB group project. ( design using google sketch) NOT-SO IN THE MOMENT..

CIB group project. ( exibition hall design have to finalise, interior have to design, website wallpapers and links finish searching, type the extra ideas) IMPORTANT..

SO essay . ( waaaaa....READ READ READ!!!!, find people that critise the theory) HIGH IMPORTANCE!

ECONS essay ( GOD..help me....SEARCH for DETAILS...) NOT-SO-IMPORTANT IN THE MOMENT..

INdividual status?

3 hrs sleep...fainting.

gnite!..wait...gdmorning..=/

MABEL KUAN PEI WERN!..ganbatte!!!! tomorrow got maths test...every thursday...argh....>_<

basketball tournament...

2008-11-08T07:33:00.001-08:00

ahh...scared.

lol..seriously.

self conversation.

2008-11-03T18:19:00.000-08:00

suddenly so emo ler.. i miss my frens back in KL...

ah... cannot, must do work.

today got basketball aso..looking forward to it. yest i played frisbee and hurt my thumb and wrist.

now sitting alone in SA trying to do work while waiting for my other frens finish their meeting.

pathetic right? talking to myself using blog, since no one is there for me now. *sad smile.

Mabel Kuan Pei Wern, GANBATTE yo!

japanese names =)

2008-11-02T07:28:00.000-08:00

hmm...hibiki and sadaharu..

hahaha..now's my turn to really translate some of my fren's names..lol

my name is

Mabel Kuan Pei Wern, is...

Maberu kuan pei uerunu
(rōmaji representation)

(katakana representation [used to write English names])

(hiragana representation)

Shelly Woo Shi Wei in Japanese is...

Shiruri woo shi uei
(rōmaji representation)

(katakana representation [used to write English names])

(hiragana representation)

Alice LIew Si-Qi in Japanese is...

Arise riebu shiki
(rōmaji representation)

(katakana representation [used to write English names])

(hiragana representation)

Merissa Chan Yi Shan in Japanese is...

Merisusa chin ii shinu
(rōmaji representation)

(katakana representation [used to write English names])

(hiragana representation)

Rachel Law Wai Ching in Japanese is...

Rachiru rabu wai chingu
(rōmaji representation)

(katakana representation [used to write English names])

(hiragana representation)

Ivy Leong Kwang Wei in Japanese is...

Your Japanese name, translated from Ivy Leong Kwang Wei, is...

Ibi reongu kuwangu uei
(rōmaji representation)

(katakana representation [used to write English names])

(hiragana representation)

wah..so tiring...this is how far i can go..lol nid to go do sumthin more beneficial to my Assignments... =)

one more just for laughs...guess who's name is who's... =D

Fungu uei mienu!!!

bwahahahaha...uei mienuuuuu...

Fuifukoo

ahahaha...

Jamesu reongu karu reongu

ahahaha...

Gari fuo

ahaahahah....

Chia chingu kuanu

ahahhaaha....

Jakukuerine wongu iin fungu

ahahaha..so long wan..

emotions.

2008-10-26T09:42:00.000-07:00

its just emotions taking me over, caught up in sorrows, lost in a song, if you were come back, come home to me darling, nobody left to whisper, hold me tight, there's nobody left to kiss me, hold me tight, gnite , nite , nite.

Christmas on October.

2008-10-25T12:42:00.000-07:00

its..3.40am.

and im listening to Christmas songs..lol.

when i listened to the song, "have yourself a merry lil christmas"

chatting with Van, Shih Chung and Joseph..ahh..damn emo la.

i left my handphone on mun yee's car..ahahaa...shit.

i love indie jazz. =)

fcuked up me.

2008-10-24T23:28:00.000-07:00

fucking my own life enough. why do i involve others?

everything is my own doing.

i wish to be alone. i want to do my assignments.

let me fuck my own life.

i dont deserve everything every guy that crossed my path.

go, go away before i fucked up your life.

random-nya.

2008-10-24T03:59:00.000-07:00

http://www.blogthings.com/whatsyournameshiddenmeaningquiz/

What Kuan Pei Wern Means

You are a seeker of knowledge, and you have learned many things in your life.
You are also a keeper of knowledge - meaning you don't spill secrets or spread gossip.
People sometimes think you're snobby or aloof, but you're just too deep in thought to pay attention to them.(ahahaa...yea..i got alot of ppl telling me i got LC face..but its my face!! T_T sad..face prob.lol)

You are a very lucky person. Things just always seem to go your way.
And because you're so lucky, you don't really have a lot of worries. You just hope for the best in life. (wah..this is so wrong weh..lol..i got LOtsa worries.)
You're sometimes a little guilty of being greedy. Spread your luck around a little to people who need it. (what luck? bad luck ar? bwahahaah)

You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection.
You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive. (yea..but im not a perfectionist, only on certain situations or circumstances)
You have the classic “Type A” personality.

You are very intuitive and wise. You understand the world better than most people.
You also have a very active imagination. You often get carried away with your thoughts. (ahaha...quite true with the imaginative part..lol..)
You are prone to a little paranoia and jealousy. You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals. (i am very paranoid, jealousy..yea)

You are influential and persuasive. You tend to have a lot of power over people.
Generally, you use your powers for good. You excel at solving other people's problems. ( but i cant solve my own bloody probs)
Occasionally, you do get a little selfish and persuade people to do things that are only in your interest. (yea..i admit sumtimes i do)

You are friendly, charming, and warm. You get along with almost everyone.
You work hard not to rock the boat. Your easy going attitude brings people together. im quite cold sumtimes..not always warm)
At times, you can be a little flaky and irresponsible. But for the important things, you pull it together. (when im flaky, im sugar-high! XD)

You tend to be pretty tightly wound. It's easy to get you excited... which can be a good or bad thing. (yea..true true)
You have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. You don't stick with any one thing for very long. (this explains everything...*sigh)
You have the drive to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Your biggest problem is making sure you finish the projects you start. (procrastination? not really my big prob, so not really true.)

You are very charming... dangerously so. You have the potential to break a lot of hearts. (then why do i always broke my own? bwahahahahaa..damn farny la.)
You know how what you want, how to get it, and that you will get it.
You have the power to rule the world. Let's hope you're a benevolent dictator! (sweat..lol...)

You are wild, crazy, and a huge rebel. You're always up to something.
You have a ton of energy, and most people can't handle you. You're very intense.
You definitely are a handful, and you're likely to get in trouble. But your kind of trouble is a lot of fun. ( very true? esp the ''people cant handle me" im a tyrant..lol )

GG-day.com (this is for you, Gary! bwahahaha)

2008-10-24T03:02:00.000-07:00

ahahaha..look at the name and i started laughing.

its been long i laugh so much. i really laugh till i cried that day. =D

it was thursday
as usual,very thursday i have Quantitative MEd which oni students that are weak in maths suppose to take. so, among my frens and coursemates, im the only one that is taking in my group of frens. not that its bad, it actually quite ok since i get to do revision and preparing myself for the next QM 2a next sem. in this module, we have to take 8 tests that consists of 20 percent of our overall percentage in this module..so every week starting from last week, i have tests on thurs. my frens majority of them had to take Business Law a..secretly..i rather take that sub coz numbers is not my thing..im more of a word person. =)

after the test, which we were tested on logs and index is it? yea...it suck.. i dun like logs. uhh.. later i went to sports complex and decide to have a go on the punching bag again.. =) but its occupied by a guy.. =( so i end up in the ping pong room watching Farrah and ALice practicing for their competition. the winner app get to represent uni.. cool..=)

so after that, i went jogging..around the lake. this reminded me of my previous roomate,(I1b59c, i will always remember =)) VANESSA..god. i miss her. T_T she's in Manchester now. she always jog in the eve..that time i was super lazy to jog but on thurs i had a sudden urge to jog so i went. after jogging for 2 rounds around the lake, i bumped into Jhen then we had a long chat..we should do that sum time again, Jhen. =) it was nice talking to you. ( im here to talk when u nid to) =) gurlfrens are forever.

then forgotten about the time! suppsoe to go to CK's house for steamboat...!!!! =)))
then rush back to my room and showered and wait for shi wei and alice.. =) of we go..
eat eat eat. the guys are good in cooking, i must admit.. LOL..then ate, socialise, then clean up. Gary went to watch movie with another group of frens so we kept sum things for him and other things is waiting for him too..cut the story short, he was drenched in water as we bombared him with water and all..lol he was force to take a shower only to eat while we watch sum british movie together with the rest of the people. it was freaking funny, i love british humour..LOL

after the movie, i drove back to uni and drop of shi wei and alice since they were tired. then i head off with a bunch of crazy people to warung..lol then makan and drink again...wa..goin out with them sure super fat weh...LOL mental note..JOg more from now on..LOL i've forgotten how crazy it was to hang out with a bunch of guys for a very long time. then we head back to their house again then this time we had a settlement with Faith, wei en and me since we're all illegal temp occupants..lol to conquer a sleeping bag, mein's blanket, pillow, and bed. (also him..but he's not really an 'Hot item' for this challenge..LOL) XD

In the end, FAith won the sleeping bag, i won the bed and wei en won Mein...LOL..JK la..LOL) the funniest thing was Gary was addicted to the word DOT COM after the Dota Championship..btw, they got 2nd.lol...win money weh..aw.. so everything he say must end with dot com..LOL really funny...XD so as we were deciding who's getting what item by a game of Chor Dai Di..and Mein asked us what were we playing since he was busyin himself by mopping the floor and gary replied him...we're playing Chor Dai Di DOT COM bugger, Mein tot its a new online game or sumthin..LOL..and he ask how to play, we were stone for a moment and we all burst out laughing. if ur there, it'll be funnier. XD

after that we started our Dota session with the Dota championship guys, damn pressured weh..lol. but in the end we end up playing with AIs.. so its not so bad..lol..insane players. halfway thru we got DC-ed then we have to start all over again..it was sad coz when it DC-ed, i almost pawn that bloodsucker..aloneee....my personal victory...arrrr...lol..then we restarted. later, all went to sleep. except for James. we slept at 5AM or i think its only me..i bunked on the sofa even though i got the room. personal reasons.. i dun wanna sleep in another guy's room for now anyway even though its nothing. it just unearth painful memories and also sumwhat of a phobia.

so Ah Seng aka Faith aka small boy (hm..if ppl dun know must think he's really small size..lol..he's freaking tall for a young kid like him!) lol..and me and james even he's not considered sleeping slept in the living room. james is more like sentinel..lol. armed with Mein's jacket, pillow ( he gave, i din curi! T_T) mein's blanket..(wah..macam Mein's item ambassador like that..lol) and also..Ck's blanket ( i ve only notice when i woke up) i embrace the dawn's cold. it was super warm..but they were freezin their butts off..LOL ( cant help but laugh at this since Mein was complaining)im a sadist..but Guys, ur hospitality was AWESOME thank you all so much..i felt better.

woke up by james at 7am. groggily sat and chat with him about things. opened that wound again. but after that conversation, i felt much better now. sigh* eventually, time will heals itself, but as Kee Aun say Scars will form even if time heals the wound but i shall endure it. then say all goodbyes, i headed back to campus and showered and get ready for class.. fyi, i slept thru the whole lecture, and the lecturer himself said, " im sorry if my lecture is boring, i hope the next chapter that im presenting would be more interesting.." well.. not at all..! LOL

-ilnimf-

dota championships.

2008-10-20T18:31:00.000-07:00

sum cc near semenyih near my uni had dota championship tournament..lol...and me and a bunch of frens went to see our group of frens play.

so chun weh...lol...i wish i could play like that..our frens made it into the finals and im happy for them...=)

last time they played with me and my frens..they trashed us kau kau without even concentrating..LOL..

nid to improve...LOL..

i made a lil promise to myself..im playing next year...=P

and at least win one game. =P

alice, shi wei? are you with me??? bwahahaahahahah..... >_<

drank and drove

2008-10-18T10:53:00.000-07:00

upset.

i cant stand it anymore, drop by at 7 eleven, desperate for alcohol. bought and went back room and drank while listening to songs. then i DROVE.

i drove out to tts 5. cried and blur. missed a turn to tts 5.emo there with a bunch of frens.

then wanna dota, but to late.. talk to them. but reveal nothin to them.

then wait for jac to come back then drove back to uni.

found this in ash's blog..=)

2008-10-18T10:07:00.002-07:00

Your Type is
ESFJ
Extraverted Sensing Feeling Judging
Strength of the preferences %
33 1 38 11

Qualitative analysis of your type formula

You are:
moderately expressed extravert

slightly expressed sensing personality

moderately expressed feeling personality

slightly expressed judging personality

tagged by Joe.

2008-10-18T10:07:00.001-07:00

1. What's the relationship of you and her/him ?

he's my primary skool fren. one of my close frens that i yam cha and drink aso..eh..so long dy..lets meet up weh. =/

2. Your 5 impressions towards her/him ?

always help ppl until forgets self, value frenship alot, nice, outgoing, raja rempit! lol...

3. The most memorable things she/he have said to you

"dun fucking think about him anymore la"

4. The most memorable things she/he had done for you

go out yam cha with me when im totally emoing..and drive me and wayne go clubbing on the way listening to Jason Mraz..LOL..love that moment while im make up-ing in the car..lol

5. If she/he became your lover, you will..

ask him to fucking stop smoking. =) i dont kiss faggots.

6. If she/he become your enemy, you will..

dun think i can be enemy towards this guy =)

7. If she/he become your lover, she/he has to improve on..

no smoking, care more bout himself abit more.

8. If she/he become your enemy, the reason is..

coz he, coz he..duno..LOL

9. The most desirable thing to do on him/her is ?

take all his ciggies and burn it.

10. The overall impression of him/her is...

helpful, but he ar..must learn how to enjoy life..think positive. they are many ppl hu love and care about him very much. like us! rite wayne? =)

11. How do you think the people around you feel about you ?

im very tempermental. they feel frustrated all the time i think. sorry ppl..

12. The character of you for yourself is ?

the corpse bride. yea..the dead bride.

13. On contrary, the character you hate of yourself is ?

self destruct when sumthin good happened. very persimist type of ppl.

14. The most ideal person that you wanna be is ?

Jesus. wa..far from it weh..but..then..he's the man, man.

15. For the people who care about you and likes you, say something about them.

i duno why u all still can tahan me. im such a bitch and asshole all the time. they are the most geng ppl that i know..coz they can tahan me. T_T

Ten people to tag [according to alphabetical order following my link list]

1. Alice
2. Rachel Law
3. Shi Wei
4. Swee Loo
5. Jonan
6. Ivy
7. Jezamine
8. Yaw Kwan
9. Celestia
10. Jhen

Who is no.2 having a relationship with ?

Edwin lo...lol...=)
happy la..both aso my gd frens..

No.3 is a male or female ?

she's my babe =P

If no.7 and no.10 were together, would it be a good thing ?

wa...tim will kill her..lol..anyway..if in frens term...sure talk alot wan..

How about no.5 and no.8 ?

wa..gays meh..duwan la..>_< yaw kwan gf will kill him..lol

What is no.1 studying about?

FAM..LOL...finance, accounting and management.

Is no.4 single ?

duno...maybe?

Say something about no.6 ?

hey ivy...! mwiss you..wan go shopping and gurl talk? =)i nid ice cream.. =D

Raleigh Kuala Lumpur

2008-10-13T08:25:00.000-07:00

hmm...i must be crazy.

thurs is my last day of class. friday i went for Raleigh Kuala Lumpur Intro Weekend as a staff member, helping out by facililating some of the games. it was awesome but tiring. challenging and frustrating but worth while. =)

i met so many diff types of ppl. Observing them was my hobby. God is really the greatest designer. =)

sunday came back, all tired and dirty. din even have time to go back and sleep at my own bed in my house then have to shower, pack and drive back to Nottingham. =/

during the time, i did not notice that my ankle was swollen until the second day. i had water retention in my leg and it was numb and irritating as i cant move as fast as i can. =/ i also did cut my finger while cooking in the jungle. LOL.
now my fourth finger on my right hand, the knife cut through the nail. so i din play frisbee for this week. aww...T_T

i got attached to Frisbee and the people. i like them alot, thats why i keep hanging out with them. =)

so far ive sign up for frisbee on monday, basketball on tues, Christian Fellowship on weds, thurs is for myslf and my frens...DOTA. LOL..basketball aso if i havent go back. =)

assignments alot..! 3 assignments are all individual work..and one group work..! sigh..self control very much needed. >_<

and not to mention other activities like raleigh and youth.

busy busy busy..>_< but its good. so i dun nid to think so much on other things..hm.

heart of glass.

2008-10-01T07:04:00.000-07:00

pain as it is.

it canot compare the pain that came from my heart.
how fragile the heart is! it felt like breaking.

it was me holding the glass. i dropped it. it smashed to the ground.
i tried to pick up the pieces. i cut my hand one by one. painfully picking up every single one.

melt it. to try to form a new one. try to give it to you.
with a glance, you took it and smash it again.
this time, its was not only yours that was broken. i was mine too.

im sorry although apologies are not a cure for mistakes,
it cannot change situations, but i pray that it would change your mind.
i could only pray for forgiveness.
i respect your current decisions. so i am leavin everything to God.

doctor.

2008-10-01T06:43:00.000-07:00

last chance. dad orders.

i have to go to the doctor..lol

when to the doctor. for those who did not know, i was having really bad fever..39.8celcius..

when the doctor told me, i was laughing. then i had an injection.

app i was suspected to have denggi. pray that i dont have. hope not.

need to wait for my fever to subside. how many brain cells have i burnt?hope not that much. =/

two more days, if i still have fever, i nid to have blood test. argh..i hate blood.

(revised version!)guys point of view from an email from shi wei..thank you.. =)

2008-09-29T08:31:00.000-07:00

From a guys point of view:
We don't care if you talk to other guys.
We don't care if you're friends with other guys.
But when you're sitting next to us, and some random guy walks into the room
and you jump up and tackle him without even introducing us, yeah, it pisses us off.
It doesn't help if you sit there and talk to him for ten minutes without even acknowledging the fact that we're still there.

We don't care if a guy calls you, but at 2 in the morning we do get a little concerned.
Nothing is that important at 2 a.m. that it can't wait till he morning.
Also, when we tell you you're pretty/beautiful/gorgeous/cute/ stunning, we freaking mean it. (will take that as a reminder ! =))
Don't tell us we're wrong.We'll stop trying to convince you. (noo...dont..please continue the compliments to gurls!..)
The sexiest thing about a girl is confidence.
Yeah, you can quote me.
Don't be mad when we hold the door open. ( love gentlemens..)
Take Advantage of the mood im in.

LET US PAY FOR YOU! DON'T 'FEEL BAD'
We enjoy doing it. ( guys, you score if u do this! =) )
It's expected.
Smile and say 'thank you.'

Kiss us when no one's watching. (haha..when we have the mood, we'll do)
If you kiss us when you know somebody's looking, we'll be more impressed. (for gurls, generally..if other gurls saw this..that ur kissing in from of ppl looking, most of that gurl will be called a bitch..coz its like showing off)

You don't have to get dressed up for us. (but we love to get dressed up for our man.. =P)
If we're going out with you in the first place, you don't have to feel the

need to wear the shortest skirt you have or put on every kind of makeup you own.
We like you for WHO you are and not WHAT you are. (sweet~!)
Honestly, i think a girl looks more beautiful when she's just in her pj's.
Or my t-shirt and boxers, not all dolled up.

Don't take everything we say seriously.
Sarcasm is a beautiful thing.
See the beauty in it.
Don't get angry easily. (depending on our mood and the things to joke about u know)

Stop using magazines/media as your bible.
Don't talk about how hott Morris Chesnutt, Brad Pitt, or Jesse McCartney is in front of us.
It's boring, and we don't care.
You have girlfriends for that.

Whatever happened to the word 'handsome'/'beautiful'.
I'd be utterly stunned by a girl who greeted me with 'Hey handsome!' instead of 'Hey baby/ stud/ cutie/ sexy' or whatever else you can think of.
On the other hand im not sayin i wouldn't like it either.

Girls: I cannot stress this enough: IF YOU AREN'T BEING TREATED RIGHT BY A GUY, DON'T WAIT FOR HIM TO CHANGE.> DITCH HIS SORRY DISGRACE-TO-THE-MALE-POPULATION ASS, AND FIND SOMEONE WHO WILL TREAT YOU WITH UTTER RESPECT
Someone who will honor your morals.
Someone who will make you smile when you're at your lowest.
Someone who will care for you even when you make mistakes.
Someone who will love you, no matter how bad you make them feel.
Someone who will stop what theyre doing just to look you in the eyes....and say 'i love you' ..........AND ACTUALLY MEAN IT!

ungrateful

2008-09-29T02:32:00.000-07:00

when people wants to live, i want to die.

my fren's nephew passed away because of brain tumor..
how can i be so ungrateful when God has bless me everyday..
that i can see a new day every day?

forgive me lord.

yee xiang, rest in peace.

psalms 51

2008-09-29T01:18:00.000-07:00

Sick but feeling more alive than ever
staring at the ceiling
wondering what life would be
if i could turn back time
back to the time where i could change things
then things wont end up the way it is now
the time when i fell
i nearly died
but why cant it happened?

what is my purpose of still being alive to this day?
pondering in my heart
i know God has a purpose for me
but i have been very disobedient
Lord, change my heart
make me new
wash me clean O LOrd
and embrace me with Your love
it is the only thing i want now.

Psalms 51

have mercy on me, O GOd
according to Your unfailing love
according to Your great compassion
blot out my transgression
wash away all my inquity
and cleanse me of my sins

for all i know my transgression
and my sins is always before me
against You, You only, have i sinned
and done what is evil to Your sight
so that You are proved right when You speak
and justified when You judged.
surely i was sinful at birth
sinful from the time my mother have conceived me.
surely You desire truth in the inner parts
You teach me wisdom in the inmost place.

cleanse me with hyssop, and i will be clean;
wash me , and i will be whiter than snow.
let me hear joy and gladness
let the bones you have crushed rejoice.
hide Your face from my sins
and blot out all my inquity.

create me in a pure heart, O God.
and renew a steadfast spirit within me.
do not cast me from Your presence or take Your holy spirit from me.
restore me to the joy of Your salvation
and grant me a willing spirit, to
sustain me.

then u will teach transgressors Your ways,
and sinners will turn back to You
save me from bloodguit, O God
the God who saves me
and my tongue will sing of Your righteousness.
O Lord, open my lips.
and my mouth will declare Your praise.
YOu do not delight in sacrifice, or i would bring it;
YOu do not take pleasure in burnt offerings.
the sacrifices of God are a broken spirit;
a broken and contrite heart,
O God, You will not despise.

in YOur good pleasure, make Zion prosper;
build up the walls of Jerusalem.
then there will be righteous sacrifices,
whole burnt offerings to delight You;
then bulls will be offered on Your altar.

Sobering.

2008-09-27T22:45:00.000-07:00

the day when i woke up.

a voice told me not to be pathetic anymore. grab my guitar and worship till my heart is at peace.

i thank God for these things to happened, maybe its really for me to sober up and come back right with God.

went clubbing with church frens.( the irony of it..LOL)

frens to me to f***ing sober up. ( i'll try not to swear so much..trying..LOL)

its good for me to get stuck in uni for the annual CPR for CFs last fri and sat..

force me to sit and deal with God. im like a rebellious kid with God.lol..nvrtheless, He did not leave me. His mercy is Awesome.

''the prodigal kid''- lol...i've replace the son to the kid..lol..just so that it would fit me better..

im cutting down my alcohol intake already. trying..,
in a short time.. Stella Atornis, Bombay Sapphire, Gin and Tonic, Tiger, Punching bag, Guitar, Night, Darkness have been my temporary company..but now they're not anymore.

frens, thank You for sticking up with me even with my endless f***ing emoness...esp my roomate and flatmates, ed and jy..terence esp.

love you all soooooo muchies. cu all soon.

sadisticly happy.

2008-09-24T08:28:00.000-07:00

that day that day, the other days,

messed up, fucked up, scared, guilt, pain, stabbing pain, sick, faint, emo, sad, cry, hurt, alone, loveless, angry, beer, alcohol, vodka, tiger, drive, speed, tears, fear, sleep, breaking.

it felt good, punching the punching bag until my knuckles bleed. i see blood, i laugh, i felt good, no more numbness, just pain. it felt so good, wanna cont punching but shi wei and alice stopped me when they saw me punching it again. my fingers and knuckles still hurts, it felt good.

my guitar is my baby now. play before i sleep, play after class. my baby loves me. probably the only one...and..yea..Jesus..lol..

yea. thats all.

the more i love anyone, i tend to hurt them..mum, dad, sis, frens..

dissapointment, pathetic fren, daughter, worst case gurlfren. LOL~

such resume of my life. wonder what God would say if im dead.

new sem

2008-09-22T21:33:00.000-07:00

ahhh....sem start d...!

so hard...2nd day got 100 percent base coursework dy...3000 words...on hawthorn studies!

then dengan extreme-nya, financial accounting is...100 percent exam base?!

argh...shit shit shit...

so lil class...four days class but workload heavy sia.

everything is the same, but its actually not..so many things happened in foundation..as though its..just like a dream.

my fucked up story.

2008-09-18T10:14:00.001-07:00

Lex

So happy,
we were,
lovers holding hands,
like there's nothin else in this world,
then there's an argument,
over sumone's love triangle,
oh the torment..!

what you've said,it seems like you're blind,
all the expectations,
i want to talk to u face to face, and stop arguing,
you've thought that i dont want you anymore.
you dun have the guts to tell me on the face but sms-ed me.
then you told our frens that i've dump you.

cookie monster

we were friends indeed,
hearing each other's thoughts and pains,
but unfortunately,
nothing was gain,
because you deserve more than me,

i've stayed away because i was selfish,
i did not understand you,
and my biggest regret is not trying hard enough.
i cant regret, regretting cant do anything,

there are times,i felt old because of the way i think, principles clashed.i am stubborn, and egoistic.
but the times when im with you are true.

but for this, i am willing to give up anything for the chance again.

i am a very selfish gurl, esp in relationships. how can i love others if im like this? i dont deserve anybody. i dont know how to love. what is love anyway? hahaha... pathetic lover. i follow too much to my emotions without thinking and end up fucking my life, and worst..others. save me, save me from myself.

for rooster,

you heard my story. dun be stubborn this time for once. dont pursue it anymore. im not worth it. and i dont want to include you in my list of the ppl i will or would hurt. im sorry.

of all the things that i've done. best for me now is to sit in the corner and study. and not get involve in any closer-than-frens-relationships.

tagged by RachL.

2008-09-17T08:44:00.001-07:00

Answer the questions below, do a Google Image search with your answer, take a picture from the first page of results, and do it with minimal words of explanation. Tag 5 other people to do the same once you’ve finished answering every question.

1) The age you'll be on your next birthday. ( ahh..donut bday cake...sweet)

2) A place you'd like to travel ( places like Ireland and New Zealand)

3) Your favorite place. ( Islands..where no one could disturb you when ur with that special sumone or just with frens..=)

4) Your favorite food (Spanish Tapas!... >_< why oni got one pic oni..)

5) Your favorite pet ( its easy to rare, and they dont bite..=)

6) Your favorite color combination ( all colors combination!) =)

7) Your favourite piece of clothing ( i love denim miniskirts!)

8) Your all time favourite song ♫♪ Pink RAWKs..esp her new song..LOL♫♪ damn hot in this pic aso...=)

9) Your favorite TV show

11) The town you live ( in kl city, cant tell u much...hahah..malaysia's not only a ''jungle'' country..)

12) Your first job ( in bangsar..)

13) Your dream job ( to work for Square Enix (creator of Final Fantasy)as their animation character design artist..!)

14) A bad habit you have ( nap in the car...only when im at most comfortable state)

or most probably not napping...just...hehe..swearing...

15) Your worst fear (interpret it what u see)

16) The one thing you'd like to do before you die ( find my bestfriend aka husband aka lover..can i have three in one? )
wait..if i found him..i dun wanna die...lol

i tag: Swee Loo, Ash, Alice, Shi wei, Jonan, jhen..

Tagged by Ivy.

2008-09-17T08:44:00.000-07:00

a. Put your iTunes, Windows Media Player, etc. on shuffle.
b. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
c. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN, NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS.
d. Put any comments in the brackets after the song name.
e. Put this on your blog.

The questions:
1. If someone says, “Is this okay?” Atomic Kitten-Cradle..LOL( yea..i nid sumone to cradle after that open-my-heart-and-rip-it-apart conversation)
2. How would you describe yourself? Avril Lavigne-The best damn thing?! ( WTH)lol
3. What do you like in a guy/girl? Yuzo Hayashi-Mawaridasu Sharin (soundtrack from Honey and colver..honey and clover type of guys?)
4. How do you feel today? Yuki-Dramatic( Honey and CLover Opening theme, huh..the last things i wanna hear is the word dramatic...)
5. What is your life’s purpose? Kotoko-Princess Bride??! WTF?! ( no WAY...!>_<'')
6. What is your motto? Astrud Gilberto-The Shadow of your smile ( what?)
7. What do your friends think of you? Maroon 5- makes me wonder( hahahahhaha...true for mr.rooster oni ya?)
8. What do you think of your parents? Day After Tomorrow-My Faith ( what??)
9. What do you think about very often? DA PUMP-Rain of Pain ( i think about pain often?? hahhaa...sadistic)
10. What is 2+2? Rascal Flatts-Nothing (wow...so smart!) lol...coincidence...
11. What do you think of your best friend? Maroon 5- Wont Go Home Without You..( awww..)
12. What do you think of the person you like? Lifehouse- BLIND..(bwahahahahaha...gd one gd one!)
13. What is your life? Yuzo Hayahi-Shoshite,Aridasu ( find out urslf in jap..^^)
14. What do you want to be when you grow up? Maroon 5- Wake up call (means im sleeping all this while?? LOL)
15. What do you think of when you see the person you like? Aria the ANIMATION round table featuring Nino-Rainbow (aw...so colourful...he gave me colour when the sky is raining...or he came me the colour red..when im angry or annoyed by him?hmm)
16. What will you dance to at your wedding? Natalie Imbruglia- Be with YOu..( hmm...what a old skool song...LOL by the time im married..this song would be so old..LOL)
17. What will they play at your funeral? Yuzo Hayashi-Raison d'etre ( coincidently..its a organ musical..sumthin like dracula song..LOL)
18. What is your hobby/interest? Jason Mraz- Life is Beautiful ( hahaha..my interest is life..yes..in a way =))
19. What is your biggest fear? BBMak- Back Here (lol...back where?)
20. What is your biggest secret? M2M- Don't Say You Love Me (strange..this should be my biggest worry..)
21. What will you post this as? Take That- Rule The World ( what? dun make any sense..anyway..the whole blog dont..LOL)
22. What song would you play during your first time having sex? Natalie Imbruglia- Amelia ( what? threesome? lol...no la..this song i dun really like...can i shuffle it again? dun wanna play this song for my 1st time or whatever time is it..i wont play this...LOL)

haha..i cheated the last one..i wanted it to be...this song ~

Maroon 5- Nothing Last Forever.

i tag:

swee loo
shi wei
celestia
rach l

enjoy! =)

New.

2008-09-16T08:22:00.000-07:00

New Phase of life.

starting degree next week..(*eekkk!!!) guess what? whole foundation in business..so farr..the ppl take enrol BA (HONS) BUSINESS ECONOMICS AND MANAGEMENT would be....tadaaaaa! me...SOb...yes...lilme.

new apartment, new room...no more excellent view on guys playing futsal or basketball anymore...SOB SOB...!
new roomate..aliceeeee! =)

new image, new look..dun give a flyin' f*** on what ppl say what i wear.

but same o attitude..

also..goin to get a new freelance job..including photography. and blog updating..and facebook updating. maybe also as a net trader..duno how much this company would pay me since they were the ones that called me.

im scared. so many things happened...hahahhaa..jus abit nervous..cant sleep..

i forsee that i would end up in deep shiat again..

cant get attached!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! someone slap me.

Favourites.

2008-09-14T09:26:00.000-07:00

Indescribable by chris tomlin

Em Dsus/F# G G2
From the highest of heights to the depths of the sea
Am Am7/G F
Creation's revealing Your majesty
Em Dsus/F# G G2
From the colours of fall to the fragrance of spring
Am Am7/G F
Every creature unique in the song that it sings
C2
All exclaiming

G Dsus
Indescribable, uncontainable,
C2 Em
You placed the stars in the sky and You know them by name.
C2
You are amazing God
G G2 Dsus
All powerful, untameable,
C2 Em
Awestruck we fall to our knees as we humbly proclaim
C2
You are amazing God

Em Dsus/F# G G2
Who has told every lightning bolt where it should go
Am Am7/G F
Or seen heavenly storehouses laden with snow
Em Dsus/F# G G2
Who imagined the sun and gives source to its light
Am Am7/G F
Yet conceals it to bring us the coolness of night
C2
None can fathom

G Dsus
Indescribable, uncontainable,
C2 Em
You placed the stars in the sky and You know them by name.
C2
You are amazing God
G G2 Dsus
All powerful, untameable,
C2 Em
Awestruck we fall to our knees as we humbly proclaim
C2
You are amazing God

G Dsus
Incomparable, unchangeable
C2 Em
You see the depths of my heart and You love me the same
C2
You are amazing God
C2
You are amazing God

Ending of SummerBreak.

2008-09-14T09:04:00.000-07:00

So many things happened..LOL...this is my 1st summer break..after looking back these 3 months..wow..

vast changes are..

Physically:
-my hair..lol..longer, diff colour..
-im wearing contacts..

Experiences:
many..this one..
-i went to aussie and experienced Melbourne city and the ppl around the city
-experienced winter..! ate Scones..went candy shopping! or shuld i say..Lollies
-worked..lol..so happy!
-clubbing around~
-raleigh-ing around =)
-made so many new frens from around the world.
-learn much bout mountain climbing and trekking
-picked back my drum skills.
-learn to earn sum money
-meet some really interesting ppl =)

hmm..things changed..i wonder how al my frens look like..sum even after NS..lol... *wink Wink..
is gd to go back to notts again, but im sure i'll miss the rooster. =p
i realy had fun from:

sunway experiences with shi wei, van and alice! =)
the curve,pavilion,maison,euphoria, with rence.
raleighing at Ara damansara, selling donuts..
lafuma blogging for bucks..
Aussie trip with Low family..( shucks..! the pics)

hahaha..cant wait to start.. =) cu nott ppls..!

irony

2008-09-11T11:01:00.000-07:00

hm..

some wants to live, some want to waste it all,

at times i felt i'm in both situation at different times

condolences to Mr Chong.

life offers so much more..sumtimes i just dont see it.

welcome

2008-09-03T03:47:00.001-07:00

I made this widget at MyFlashFetish.com.

so true.

2008-09-02T23:33:00.000-07:00

BEAUTIFUL CHRISTIAN SISTER
by Maya Angelou

'A woman's heart should be so hidden in Christ
that a man should have to seek Him first to find her.'

When I say... 'I am a Christian' I'm not shouting 'I'm clean livin''
I'm whispering 'I was lost, Now I'm found and forgiven.'

When I say... 'I am a Christian' I don't speak of this with pride
I'm confessing that I stumble and need Christ to be my guide.

When I say... 'I am a Christian' I'm not trying to be strong.
I'm professing that I'm weak and need His strength to carry on.

When I say... 'I am a Christian' I'm not bragging of success.
I'm admitting I have failed and need God to clean my mess.

When I say... 'I am a Christian' I'm not claiming to be perfect,
My flaws are far too visible but, God believes I am worth it.

When I say... 'I am a Christian' I still feel the sting of pain..
I have my share of heartaches, so I call upon His name.

When I say.. 'I am a Christian' I'm not holier than thou,
I'm just a simple sinner who received God's good grace, somehow

" Our biological physical life is from your parents; but it does not mean your life would be the same if you do nothing about it. you can lose your life that had be given to you by treating it indifferently, or you could leave your life by commiting suicide. You have to feed it and nurture it, but always remember that you are not making it but only to keep a life that you've got from someone else [parents, ever heard of Reproduction?] In the same context, Christian could also lose the Christ-life which has been put into him, and he is responsible to keep it. Even though the 'best' Christian that ever lived in this world is not acting by his own strength-he is only nourishing or protecting a life that he could never accquired with his own effort...if u cut a live body , and up to a certain degree,it would heal itself. a live body still gets hurt if you cut it, but in an extent, it can repair itself. In the same context again, Christian is not a man who never goes wrong, it is never perfect, but a man who is enable to repent and pick himself up and continue over and over again after each fall; because the Christ-life is INSIDE of him all the time, enabling him to repeat( in some degree) the kind of voluntary death which Christ Himself carried out. .."

(LEWIS, C.S, What Christians Believe,Harper Collins, 2005)

this is for Mike Guglielmucci.

Expressing myself.

2008-09-01T21:19:00.000-07:00

no words can describe me from what im feeling right now.

the closest one was..i cant function properly anymore.

injuring yourslf physically is even better than frens hurting u emotionally.
trust me. i've tried.

if there is a hole or a corner that i could stay forever without hurting anyone's feeling, i would go there.

by the way, this goes out to the ppl that want me nonexistant...lol...yes..i knew there are many out there

im trying to achieve everything that i once wanted to do..so that when the time is right, yes. i would die. so then there's no hurting anymore. you wont get pissed off at me. you wont get upset at me, you wont even think i'll exist.

d day when i saw you. it was sincere smile and a hug. im sorry if your anger and hurt betrayed the sincerity that comes from me. you say that i am two-face. i cant disagree, coz i am not a perfect human. i knew that. and yes, however small my dignity was to you..i still have it.

the other part,it was a misunderstanding. i was also blinded by anger at the time when i met you with your boyfren. i was hurt. why cant u recognise me at all? im just saying this for my part. at least you would know how i felt. even if u dont care.

but the past is past,what i want to say is..i thank God for your beautiful life. that you have a boyfren that loves you so much and vice versa. frens in school that love you and will not betray you. family that will love you forever. a future family in law that also loves you so much. i pray that the happiness would not end after form 6 and all. i pray that you would have a blessed life. i thank God for letting me be your fren for the most of primary skool and also secondary school years. i pray that you would have a brilliant life ahead in your life. our frenship would part here, but i would always remember you as my fren. (or a fake fren to you)

im not writing all this to get ur forgiveness and all nor to get sympathy from people. this is MY blog. i am free to express myself as anyone else does.

tagged by Alice

2008-08-26T22:57:00.000-07:00

tagged by Alice.. =)

Starting time : 1.58pm (shh..im at the workplace)
Name : Mabel Kuan Pei Wern
Sisters : One
Brothers : non blood relative, two.
Shoe size : 3-4.5 (damn small rite??)
Height : 156cm
Where do you live : cheras..
Favourite drinks : fruit juices, jasmine tea, milk, and bacardi, stella artornis, absolut vodka..LOL
Favourite breakfast : Scramble eggs! =P

Have you,
ever been on a plane : Yeap
Swam in the ocean : yesh! it was so best..lol
Fallen asleep in school : countless times..
Broken someone's heart : yesh..including myslf.
Fell off your chair : Nyea..did once..lol..in the lecture hall sumore.. >_<
Sat by the phone and waiting for someone to call : haha..i would hold the phone until i fell asleep..
What is your room like : tons of BOOKs..messy..i love my bed..=)
What's right beside you : cds, tissue box(flu la), cap( forgotten to put it back)
What is the last thing you ate : porridge..

Ever had ,
Chicken pox : yeap..when i was 8 i think..
Sore throat : Yea, now..lol
Stitches : i have 5 stiches on my eyebrows/eyes.
Broken nose : nah...thank God..lol i love my nose..=P
Do you : Believe in love at first sight : ah..i duno.
Like picnics : in australia i would. no ants and sandflies and mosquitos and flies..

Who was,
were the last person you danced with : terence.haha
Last made you smile : lets see..i forgotten..its been long ive smile.
You last yelled at : shi wei..lol..sorry..>_<

Today did you,
Talk to someone you LOVE : mommy
Kissed anyone : nope.
Get sick : i got sick yest for looking at the stars for 3 hrs outside the civil engineering site..lol..with jojo, shiwei and alice!
Talk to an ex : yeah..does msg counts?
Miss someone : yes.
Eat : yeap..lil but still ate.
Best feeling in the world : get to speak with God.. =)
Do you sleep with stuffed animals : yeap..i have super tons of them..LOL
What's under your bed : again...books..! lol
Who do you really hate : hate ppl like me.
What time is it now : 5.01 pm

5 things i was doing 10 years ago (hmm..i was..9 yrs old)
1. playing hockey.
2. playing chasing with the guys
3. dealing with eating disorder
4. fighting with ivan..lol
5. play badminton
6. cycling around with my frens
7. reading books..(some things dont change huh..lol)
8. dunid to study aso get good marks..lol
9. love spending my sat and sun with my parents...shopping!
10. no worries and all. =)

5 things on my to-do list today
1. drink lotsa water
2. eat
3. drink barley
4. blog
5. chat with christopher, my cousin bro.

5 snacks i enjoy
1. ice cream (CHOCOLATE or BOYSENBERRY...) yum yum*
2. famous amos cookies..~
3. apples..=)
4. Chocolates!!!!
5. then others depending on my mood..lol

5 things i would do if i were a billionaire
1. INVEST INVEST INVEST...LOL..bwahahaha..more moniessssss
2. charity work for kids and single mothers..set of places for them to work and live.
3. Travel around the world with my family and extended families and frens..=)
4. buy things that i cant buy now..lol
5. build a business empire..lol

5 of my bad habits
1. i swear alot, as in..ALOT.
2. i like to sratch my head while studying..lol
3. i eat alot.
4. i have very bad mood swings
5. i musttry not to stare at ppl with my killer stare when im irritated or angry.

5 places i have lived in
1. Cheras
2. University of Nottingham Malaysia campus Tioman Hall I1B59C
3. University of NOttingham Malaysia campus Tioman Hall I1B36C
4. oh yea..National Service 2nd batch, kem Miri, Miri..bravo quarters.
5. ah..thats about it..LOL

5 people i'm tagging is
1. rach L
2. Ivy
3. Jhen
4. Jonan
5. and anyone who reads my blog..lol

whoa.

2008-08-26T09:24:00.000-07:00

giant ferrero rocher!

thanks kenny..cheered me up a lil =)

Giant Ferrero Rocher

enjoy.

Alive.

2008-08-26T09:05:00.000-07:00

i want to run..run on to the fields..to the woods..to places that i dont know..

i want clean air..i want nottingham campus..

i want to feel the breez when i run..like im flying...

i want to play basketball with shi wei, alice n vanessa..

i love the feeling of rushed adredeline..

i want to punch the punching bag with alice n shi wei..

like i did when i punch till my knuckles bleed.

i want to paint shoes..

i want to draw again..

i want to play my drums and guitar..

and lose myself in music..my muse

i want to go back to kem miri, sarawak to kayak.

i want to be the watchwomen for the night in my NS camp to feel the breeze and watch the skies filled with stars.

i want to be back in kuala kubu, lie dwn on the road, to look at the shooting star..

i want to be in redang, hearing the waves crashin to the beach.

i want to be in redang, listening to God ask He speaks to me.

i want to listen to God speaking to me again.

i want to be in the rough seas, when God spoke to me, telling me not to be afraid.

i want to be in God's arms, when all things fail me.

empty.

2008-08-26T08:29:00.000-07:00

in the dark,

whisper in the sky,

hoping that God would look at me in His eyes.

i wonder what does He see?

a speck of dust,

or wound full of puss?

although its not true,

indeed i know God love's so good,

but here am i still feeling blue.

my heart is hollow,

soon im afraid my mind would follow;

then were would i be?

oh yes, many people are around me,

cheerful sad or angry,

but why is my heart, so empty?

jonan, just because i have loads of frens, it don't give an excuse why i cant feel lonely.

happy father's day.

2008-08-26T08:11:00.000-07:00

why does everything i do is not up to your standard at all?

like today's sis shopping for laptop. you were not there..u were working.

we search n found one, we're quite happy with it. but when u came back, only one comment that u gave.

'' Toshiba? i expected another brand..of all brand u all choose Toshiba?''

'' at least its not fujitsu..expensive and its not really gd based on your experience using it'' i've said.

and you gave me the look,

the look that always:

i was never too good for you.

i was borned a gurl. thats why grandpa n grandma dun care bout me. as though im just a shadow.

i was never pretty enough in your eyes.

i was never smart enough for you.

i was never a sweet and obedient enough as a daughter for you.

i was too head strong, too stubborn, but unfortunately i was not born as a boy.

i was never hardworking enough in your eyes.

in your eyes, i only know how to talk back. spend your money.

i got scholarship. you think the college is not gd enuf.

i spend 2 months to get scholarship in sumthin i wanted to do.

in two minutes, you objected me.

u put me in a uni that know im so confuse with my degree.

im so scared i would fail, fail to succeed in your eyes.

i love you dad.

but sumtimes its so hard to live in your expectations.

humans.

2008-08-24T09:23:00.000-07:00

haha..today...

i went out of the house at 9am...went out till 11.45pm.

i went for two gatherings today..both is also farewell..

in the morn, went to midvalley to fetch shi wei n alice..and vanessa, the watak utama..LOL
she's goin to UK soon to study so we plan to go out with her for this special occasion..we decided to go to sunway lagoon. (pics will be in facebook soon) had fun...really enjoyed ourselves, even when the weather's quite bad. it rain really heavily and long, nevertheless, it did not dampen our spirits..lol after a few spins and a few dips and plunges...LOL..we finally went for this Scream park..cool..but nid lots of improvements..at a point..i laugh during the game. suppose to be scary..LOL..but the 3D tunnel was cool...!!! then we had dinner at T.G.I Friday's...lol..dissapointed coz dun have MOCHA MUD PIE..finished when i went there with them.. =(

then at nite..after sending my frens home, i went to O town again in tmn midah..man...im like a regular customer dy at that place, its convenient for me and my frens..since they all live in cheras...my highskool frens, that is.. then we chat and all...they're as lame as ever! lol...gonna miss all of them, esp suet lai, since she's goin back to russia this tues...=(

anyway, went back home then check my mails and stuffs, then kenny found me and chat with me. he gave me a news in Aust. (which reminds me, i havent replied auntie rose..shit...!)

Disgraced pastor Michael Guglielmucci a porn addict

THE father of disgraced pastor Michael Guglielmucci has revealed his son has been addicted to pornography since the age of 12.

Danny Guglielmucci – whose high-profile preacher son last week week admitted his two-year battle with cancer was fake – said the "severe addiction to pornography" was part of a bizarre double life his son had been leading.

Mr Guglielmucci, who established Edge Church International, an Assemblies of God church in Adelaide, said Melbourne-based Michael had made a full confession to his family about his past, including revelations about the 16-year porn obsession and the lies over his supposed battle with terminal illness.

In an exclusive interview with Adelaide's Sunday Mail this week, Mr Guglielmucci also revealed:

HIS son has been suffering "mystery illnesses" since the age of 12.

DOCTORS gave his parents the option of admitting him to a psychiatric ward for assessment as a child over the ongoing "illnesses", but they refused.

THE family's "absolute shock" at discovering Michael was not terminally ill.

Mr Guglielmucci said he and wife Sharonne – who founded Edge Church International with him – were struggling to comprehend what their son had done.

They are expected to address the church's Adelaide congregation today to explain his actions.

"When (Michael) rang me last Tuesday, I was on my way to New Zealand," Mr Guglielmucci said.

"He said, 'Dad you've got to come and see me'.

"I said to my wife, 'Maybe the doctors have told him he's only got a few weeks to live'.

"So we cancelled everything and jumped on the plane and went to see him in Melbourne, and that's when he told us the story.

"We were just in absolute shock and we still are. We haven't had time to get our head around it. He said, 'I don't have cancer. I've had two lives that I've lived'.

"His wife (Amanda), who has been with him for seven years, found out the day before we did and she's had no idea.

"Michael has had a severe addiction to pornography. The addiction to pornography started when he was 12.

"It's horrendous because we don't have that sort of stuff around. He was raised in a Christian home; we've never brought that stuff into our home."

Michael Guglielmucci was one of Australia's highest-profile Christian preachers, inspiring hundreds of thousands around the world as he performed his hit song Healer with an oxygen tube in his nose.

He was a pastor with Planetshakers, a Christian youth movement that began in Adelaide and has grown into an international ministry.

But that all came crashing down this week when his deception became public.

Mr Guglielmucci said his son finally confessed after the guilt of his lies and addiction became overwhelming.

"He lived the two lives and he would get sick as a result of the guilt," he said.

"He was feeling like he was letting God down, letting his family down, his church, his friends.

"He's been living this for so long, feeling like he's had these two lives and now he's the one that's come out in the open. He confessed it, he didn't get caught.

"To deal with the guilt he would pour himself into doing good work. He's touched the lives of young people all over the world. Now they are all affected by this.

"He hasn't done this for any reasons that have been portrayed that he's a fraud.

"It was either keep pretending or come out with the truth and tell everything. He's come out with everything but now we've got the consequences of it all.

"We have to accept it. We're hoping to share with our congregation how it all started and how it got where it is.

"We understand people's anger, we understand their questioning.

"There's so many questions.

"An addiction like this is not going to be fixed overnight. You can't have a 16-year problem and fix it in a week."

Mr Guglielmucci said his son was undergoing psychiatric assessment with Adelaide doctors.

"They have said to me that he is very ill. They are assessing where reality stopped and fantasy kicked in and what's caused all this," he said.

"The doctor believes that at times Michael was totally convinced that he had this sickness."

Mr Guglielmucci said his son had a long history of "mystery illnesses", starting in childhood.

"When he was about 12 he did vomit all the time, he'd get really really sick," he said.

"He was in the Adelaide Children's Hospital for seven weeks at one stage; he didn't eat and we thought we were going to lose him.

"They took out his appendix, thinking that it might be that, but they realised that it wasn't.

"They gave us the option of putting him in a psychiatric ward to see if there was something psychological but we felt uncomfortable with that at the time.

"We signed him out from hospital and then he would go a few months and then he would get sick again.

"We'd always take him to hospital; we'd always do the proper thing but they couldn't get to the bottom of it until now."

Mr Guglielmucci said he and his wife were in "absolute shock" to discover their son was not terminally ill.

"We have watched our son go through what we thought was cancer," he said.

"My wife and I, over the past two years, have watched him vomit in buckets, having nosebleeds, and even his hair fell out in clumps at one stage.

"Every time we saw him, we saw symptoms. He stayed with us for a while where we had to put a special air-conditioner in one of the rooms because he would heat up so much in the middle of winter.

"He had this cold air-conditioner blowing on him to try to keep the heat down. As a professional minister I've stood in front of my congregation and cried and said to pray for my son.

"I've travelled the world asking people to pray for him. Can you imagine what a horrible thing it would be if I was playing a game?

"To be honest, I ask myself as a father, 'What did I miss, what did I not do? What could I have done better?' "

Mr Guglielmucci said Michael's wife was "getting really good counselling".

"She's not made any decision at this point," he said.

"It's happened so quickly. There's so many questions."

hm...shocking is it? for most of the people.. now i could hear ppl saying..
''wahhh..pastor aso can be like that wan ar!!!" or..
" aiiyerr...what news is this, such disgrace!!''

yes. its true. its dissapointing but.

he's still human. yesh, he suppose to be more "in the line" since he's an elder in church..bla bla bla...
did anyone still remember what the bible talks about?

1. forgiveness
okey, he f***** things up. but do anyone remember bout forgiving each other?
uh, for other ppl's info. Christians are also HUMAN. humans sin. its in their nature but God sent His only son to Die for all of us( yea, You too) to pay for our sins. (yes, white lie is considered as a sin, no matter how ''white'' your lie was and yes.rape and murder is also sins. nop, we have no grades for sin ie. ''you lie to your gurlfren that her cookies are yummy (but actually its hard like concrete) is still a lie or '' i've murdered sumone'' is also a sin. there's no lighter sentence or a heavier sentence. everything's the same.

you may ask, who's this Jesus and why is he so damn special that he can help us wipe away our past, present and future wrongdoings?

want to know? ask anyone of your christian frens, im sure you know at least one of them. anyway, i'll wirite that next time. =) coz there's so many things to write bout him. =)

note: its hard to forgive the ppl that hurt @ betray you. i wont deny that..but rely not in your strength but on God.
its hard but it can be done.

and if ppl whom are too dissapointed with this news, and think..

" wa..if pastor like that also can succumb to all this kinda drama and addiction and all, what chance do i have?''

you do have chance, alot in fact. like i've said, he's a human. but he's forgiven. humans being humans, would like to talk bout it and all..judgin ppl and all. but if your discourage, dun be..if you are fammiliar with one of a stories in the bible, even if your not, its alrite. in one of the many records in the bible..even the famous, most close to God in the Old testament which is King David, he also did sumthin really 'naughty' and end up murdering sumbody. more info bout this story, check out " 2 samuel chapter 11,12) in short, King David saw a beautiful women bathing and she's married. appt her husband was working for the King. the king ask her to be sent to him and he slept with her. and yea, shucks..she got pregnant. so king david wanna conceal it by asking the husband of the lady to go back home ( he was working outstation, in lay-man's term) but he was indeed a loyal servant. the king wants him to go back so that the husband could have sex with the wife and...tadaa! she's pregnant (which, actually its the king's child in her) but he was a loyal servant and he thinks that he must finish his job ( like over time lol) so he did not slept with his wife. then king david ask this guy to go for war and put him in the 1st line( sure die wan..last time war...the 1st in line is a doom line weh) indeed, he mati lo. and the story goes on..read yourselves la. din have bible, borrow la..lol

anyway, what im trying to prove that, even king david, in high favour of God aso GG..so all other ppl sure die dy la?
no. coz God's mercies are new every morning. ( heck, i keep thinking, thank God Jesus were born b4 me..so that i'm forgiven and all punishment was taken by Jesus, my saviour so that i could be blameless in the eyes of God..coz if we're still in the old testament, we havent got the direct connection with God coz we are sinners and GOd is perfect. so there's a gap but Jesus closed that gap for us. =) arent that great? we could talk to God normally not like the ancient times where even priests( in olden times they were called priests) have to tie ropes to their own ankles when entering the Temple of God ( church) coz if they think anything that is unclean, WHAM! they're dead. that's how powerful God's presence is...lol..imagine goin for a prayer then suddenly struck dead coz your think sumthing that is not appropriate during at the time. thank God Jesus had change that, coz i think i wont get to survive that during the ancient times befor Jesus was born and died for my sins..=P

issues of being single.

2008-08-16T10:31:00.000-07:00

yes.

to ans fren's questions.

my fren said that she's not single anymore. super damn happy. and she asked me. i said im not anymore. and she kept saying..why always im with sum1 and then ur not..its so opposite..why is that and blablabla..

i said i decided to be single. she was shocked.

yesh, shocked. why is it so freaking shock that i want to be single?

she asked why. i said coz i wanna to meet more ppl. she lagi shocked. she ask me if im bored of the r.ship.

fuck, no. in my mind of course. i din want to swear with this gurl, she's too sweet natured to be polluted with this kinda language.

is being single a crime or an offense the the nations?

then she want to really know 'why' i broke up.

i repeat it again. i want to meet more ppl to broaden my horizons.
she did not really understand why. most ppl dont.

i am not ready for a commited r.ship.

im scared. im scared of people controlling my social circle. my life. my freedom. im too egoistic to let anyone get hold of me. imagine a cat being cornered. the more u feel threaten, the more u want to run. i havent found a guy that can retain me.

this is what i've found a year ago:

i say i love you, but you say you want more freedom.

why is freedom more important than love?
without love, freedom is naked. why love cant live with freedom? why is love the prison for freedom? how many people live in freedom prison then?

(xiao lu gou, 2007)

well...i think im one of them living in freedom prison then.

note: this applies to human love..well, God's love is so much the opposite. God's love is FREEDOM.

haha..updates... =)

2008-08-16T08:31:00.000-07:00

hahaha..its been so long.....>_<

updates so far...

1. i got a job!

hahaha...yeash..to those who ask me if im still shooting...yesh yesh but this is another job.
now im working as a partimer in a store that sells outdoor clothing and gears. the shop's called LAFUMA..no its not under PUMA...Sweat,LOL...it a brand by itslf. so hint hint..anyone wants to go Mount Kinabalu or other outdooorish stuffs...come find me ooo...LOL... the shop's in Bangsar by the way. =)

2. i'm allowed to go for expedition!

ahahah...yesh, shi wei..im so happy!! =) after dinner today at YUZU, The Gardens ( they have superdelicious KOBE beef there..just rm 88 for 100 grams..and super tasty...LOL..) i've talk to my dad bout it...yea..he did rattle bout how dangerous is it with my Asthma condiiton and all...but i got the green light!!! yay..but dun be too excited bout it, esp. kar lye..lol i still nid to fun raise alot of $$ to go...sob sob.

3. i've bought sports bra...LOL

okie....its been so long i want to buy but i lazy and i duwan to use my own money..so my dad after dinner went in to a Nike shop..and the rest is HISTORY..i bought two..LOL =)

4. i realise i am able to finally do what i really want in my life rite now.

i want knowledge, freedom and experiences. i want to do everything that i want to do now. they're loads of stuffs that i've not done yet..thanks, National Service..LOL...coz that made me realize that i have alot of records that i've havent personally break. i've managed to achieve sumlast year..and im looking forward to achieve sum this following year.

5. erm..nothin much then.

yea...thats all my updates from now...i just think that my blogs are getting much more boring than ever...hm.. i have alot of things to share about but its kinda long and im not really free to write everything...hm hm hm...lazy bum am i..lol YODA speaking.

and not to mention, LAMER..what the hell..YODA?

Angel Kid's home..=)

2008-08-10T08:54:00.000-07:00

hahha..today's shedule was super packed!

one of the main events for today was to bring 14 kids from Angel's KIds Home to a day trip to Petrosains. we've been planning for weeks now..and finally it come to pass..LOL

it was so fun...! the day start as to gather at the kids home to fetch the kids to klcc, then reach there..then we went in..play stuffs...most of the time...i was super damn worried bout the kids...scared they're lost, sick...hurt..bla bla bla..coz i was suppose to the so called co organiser for that event..i was so nervous until the day b4 i was having nitemares that one of the kids were missing and all! lol... however, by God's Grace, everything went well. =)

then fetch them back to their home..then chat with them..then leave the place bout 5pm..fetch my sis from fren's hse, then went back home. then after dinner..rest..then went out to Bangsar mistakenly then end up in MIdvalley at 9pm. lol...suppose to meet a fren there. he came back from singapore.

to be continue...fren got prob.

blog hopping.

2008-07-09T23:45:00.000-07:00

been hopping around in friend's blogs today..

i found back some old frens. catching up on what they're doin.

and i found out bout sumthin..sumthin really special.

reaading their blogs is like a one way communication, sumtimes they dont even know that we're reading theirs..and how they felt. its comforting that sum dun even know that im reading it.

lookin back was like.. 'wow, this gurl..we've fought before during primary skool, but how is she doin now in her life?'

but the old devil is back..its a long story.

she the gurl that came to our skool when we're in strd5 i guess. she came into our skool from a private skool to a public skool. students usually label her as a stcuk up gurl just because she's from a private skool. but now i think back..we're kinda silly..coz indeed private n public skool, students just behave differently..and last time, when she tried to fit in..i think everyone gave her a hard time, esp me.

i regretted the things that i've done, last time when i was small..i used to be one of the bright students that excelled in art and english..so as a lil gurl..i was secretly proud of that,,until she came. lol..for the past years since strd 1, when it comes to art classes, ppl would want me to help draw, paint or sculp for them. but after she came, she got all the attention i had once had from my peers. i was not happy. she was acting stuck up and alot of frens followed her. lol..lookin back..it was just plain silly that i was hurt by her. after everything..we had fights and all.

now she just completed her A-lvls and moving on next on her journey called life. she's still talented in ART...and now PHOTOGraphy..everyone's into PHOTOGRAPY now..sigh.

thinkin bout it.. i felt useless.lol..every pics that my frens took as an art give me a stab on the chest..lol *stab stab stab.

*stab= see? ask u too practice more on your skills in photog. useless.

*stab= ppl use D50 aso so damn nice dy the pic, u just waste ur money by buying stupid expensive cameras, for what? for show ar?

*stab= you HAVE no TALENT in photography. ur just as gd as a WIMPY photographer.

uhhh...bleeding...bleeding...

and the truth is people..frens..when ppl knew that i work freelance as a photog. they always wanna see my pics. curious..but the thing is...i am scared to show..but im goin to do sumthin bout it...im goin to challenge myslf to open a pic webbie soon.

wow. my birthday..lol

2008-07-09T22:35:00.000-07:00

this was taken in this webbie: http://www.paulsadowski.com/birthday.asp

4 January 1989
Your date of conception was on or about 13 April 1988 which was a Wednesday.

You were born on a Wednesday
under the astrological sign Capricorn.
Your Life path number is 5.

Your fortune cookie reads:
Your happiness is intertwined with your outlook on life.

Life Path Compatibility:
You are most compatible with those with the Life Path numbers 1, 5 & 7.
You should get along well with those with the Life Path numbers 3 & 9.
You may or may not get along well with those with the Life Path number 8.
You are least compatible with those with the Life Path numbers 2, 4, 6, 11 & 22.

The Julian calendar date of your birth is 2447530.5.
The golden number for 1989 is 14.
The epact number for 1989 is 22.
The year 1989 was not a leap year.

Your birthday falls into the Chinese year beginning 2/17/1988 and ending 2/5/1989.
You were born in the Chinese year of the Dragon.

Your Native American Zodiac sign is Goose; your plant is Bramble.

You were born in the Egyptian month of Famenoth, the third month of the season of Poret (Emergence - Fertile soil).

Your date of birth on the Hebrew calendar is 27 Tevet 5749.
Or if you were born after sundown then the date is 28 Tevet 5749.

The Mayan Calendar long count date of your birthday is 12.18.15.12.6 which is
12 baktun 18 katun 15 tun 12 uinal 6 kin

The Hijra (Islamic Calendar) date of your birth is Wednsday, 26 Jumadiyu'l-Avval 1409 (1409-5-26).

The date of Easter on your birth year was Sunday, 26 March 1989.
The date of Orthodox Easter on your birth year was Sunday, 30 April 1989.
The date of Ash Wednesday (the first day of Lent) on your birth year was Wednesday 8 February 1989.
The date of Whitsun (Pentecost Sunday) in the year of your birth was Sunday 14 May 1989.
The date of Whisuntide in the year of your birth was Sunday 21 May 1989.
The date of Rosh Hashanah in the year of your birth was Saturday, 30 September 1989.
The date of Passover in the year of your birth was Thursday, 20 April 1989.
The date of Mardi Gras on your birth year was Tuesday 7 February 1989.

As of 7/10/2008 1:26:55 AM EDT
You are 19 years old.
You are 234 months old.
You are 1,018 weeks old.
You are 7,127 days old.
You are 171,049 hours old.
You are 10,262,966 minutes old.
You are 615,778,015 seconds old. (and COUNTING...LOL)

Celebrities who share your birthday:
Michael Stipe (1960) Matt Frewer (1958) Dyan Cannon (1937)
Floyd Patterson (1935) Jesse White (1917) Jane Wyman (1914)
Sterling Holloway (1905) Charles 'Tom Thumb' Stratton (1838) Louis Braille (1809)

Top songs of 1989
Another Day In Paradise by Phil Collins Miss You Much by Janet Jackson
Straight Up by Paula Abdul Right Here Waiting by Richard Marx
Lost In Your Eyes by Debbie Gibson Like a Prayer by Madonna
We Didn't Start the Fire by Billy Joel Two Hearts by Phil Collins
When I See You Smile by Bad English Blame It On the Rain by Milli Vanilli

Your age is the equivalent of a dog that is 2.7894324853229 years old. (Life's just a big chewy bone for you!)

Your lucky day is Saturday.
Your lucky number is 8.
Your ruling planet(s) is Saturn & Uranus.
Your lucky dates are 8th, 17th, 26th.
Your opposition sign is Cancer.
Your opposition number(s) is 2 & 7.

Today is not one of your lucky days!

There are 178 days till your next birthday
on which your cake will have 20 candles.

Those 20 candles produce 20 BTUs,
or 5,040 calories of heat (that's only 5.0400 food Calories!) .
You can boil 2.29 US ounces of water with that many candles.

Your birthstone is Garnet

The Mystical properties of Garnet

Garnet is used as a power stone
Some lists consider these stones to be your birthstone. (Birthstone lists come from Jewelers, Tibet, Ayurvedic Indian medicine, and other sources)

Emerald, Rose Quartz

Your birth tree is

Fir Tree, the Mysterious
Extraordinary taste, dignity, cultivated airs, loves anything beautiful, moody, stubborn, tends to egoism but cares for those close to it,rather modest, very ambitious, talented, industrious uncontent lover, many friends, many foes, very reliable.

The moon's phase on the day you were
born was waning crescent.

hmm..sumthin to think about.

2008-07-09T05:24:00.000-07:00

i'm staring that the blank computer screen, thinking of what to write for my next blog..

i'm still in aust, still in the same house. in the same study room..staring..until i saw a book that caught my eye. It's purple in colour (sweat, coincidently la..lol) and the title was the one that caught my eye. it wrote..

"The FIve Love Languages by Gary Chapman."

few years ago, i've attended this conference for young ppl in kl. and yea, they did mention this but i kinda forgotten the contents and what five love languages it is. nop..its not languages like bahasa malaysia or chinese...laaa...but its more to..

1.words of affirmation
2.quality time
3.receiving gifts
4.acts of service
5.physical touch

hm..words of affirmation.
its true..giving honest compliments to your partners work really well...guys gurls...not always 'i love you''s the only word for u couples to use u know. appreciate your partners with good compliments. ok..i am a gifted procrastinator..lol. while reading a few pages, i've been 'ouch' here and there coz i've read bits bout things that i should have done and not done. its interesting to know about all this..but what im worried about, what about the other person in your life? does he know? i just duno how to share it. frens i could and i would but,for that special person, i just duno how to start.

sumtimes i'm so afraid of falling in love? coz being 'in love' is like sitting on CLOUD 9 then after a few months or years, you will find out that in reality, ur at the (sumtimes) in the bottomless pit? i.e Hell? lol..hope that it wont happened to anybody. so i tend to prepare for the worst. getting into fights earlier, testing waters, i.e testing the limit..but it was faulty. know why? coz the other person might be 'in love' too.so the limit that he gave is not real. i.e everything goes as long as u love me ( im not dissing anyone esp BAck street boys ya) =P but yea..that song kinda reminds me that love just been too sugary coated all this while.

im afraid that i cant cope with the post 'in love' thing u know? i hope ppl would understand me bout this confusing rattling about love. if not it'll be senseless rumblings and mumblings. i havent read the few more chapters.. so the others i cant really tell you much, but i think this book would really help couples to cope but the most important thing is.. both would get a good understanding of the book. then we'll be talking bout the same language, or frequency in that manner.

i've talked bout this with a fren, and she said that its good to understand all the five languages of love but u have to remember that not all are speaking the same ammount of those five. for example, Lily needs more on acts of service compared to her boyfren, Fred who needs more of the words of affirmation. everybody have different wants and needs..so its all back to give and take. hmm..sounds complicatingly simple, isn't it?

shucks. depress laaaa....

2008-07-08T04:05:00.000-07:00

shit la..after reading so many of people's blog..i've found out that im such a LOSER weh..lol

my blog skin cacat
my contents fai wan
im jobless..LOL in the meantime la..
aaaa....i think im goin craaazzzyy...
i nvr worked in the field that im studying la...how how? no experience...lol..lame lame * knocks head on the wall.
and results..dont ask me. it sucks so much.arghhhhh...KUSOOOOOOO~

resolutions:

1. no being lazy.
2. study at least 2 hrs a day. 5 times a week.
3. do maths! practise acc! >_<
4. practice my drums and guitar. yesh..mun yee's killin me.
5. exerciseeeeeeeeee....YOU FAT PIG!

yea...procrastinating.

*huhuhu ... T_T (huddle in the corner)

hmm..old bimbo?lol

2008-07-08T03:34:00.000-07:00

heyheyhey..

just realize..after re-reading my blog..i felt. if ppl dont know me..they'll think of me as a bimbo..! lol

note: for those dont know what's a bimbo..i'll search for you..lol read more below the definition of a bimbo. =)

"Bimbo is a term that emerged in popular English language usage in the early 20th Century to describe an often attractive, yet unintelligent woman. The usage of this term began in the United States as early as 1919" (wikipedia, 2008)

well..the attractiveness din count la i guess.lol///

anyway..the reason that i type this was.. because my blog is pink..(*hinting ppl hhhu are extremely free, help me changeeeee...??? )lol

and my posts..mostly are tags and all..no real substance..lol

true..i love collecting bimbo stuffs now..lol// bikinis and all..lol

just figured out that i only can wear until the age of 25 i guess...so better wear it now..lol..

sigh..still in melbourne now..i'll be coming back on the 12th july, afternoon flight..so reach back kl around nite time. i think i've just bought the whole candy shop..! hahaha..so many things to do when i come back..so many ppl i nid to meet up..waaaa...so exciting and tiring just thinking about it.. =) cu all soon!

tagss.

2008-07-08T02:59:00.000-07:00

TAG No. 1

List eight (8) random facts about yourself. Tag eight people at the end of this post and list their names. Let them know they have been tagged by leaving them a comment on their blogs.

1. i love to take pics but i hate to dwnload n upload them..lol

2. i have a thing for candies..and love candy shopping!

3. i play the piano, guitar and suck in drums.

4. i love choco chip cookies! famous amos...soft cookies! =)

5. i love to drive aimlessly.

6. i have a thing for bikinis..i collect them..just bought one today...so happy! X)

7. i have no patience for ppl hu think they can do everything.( when the fact is they dont)

8. i love to eat..=)

TAG No. 2

8 things I am passionate about:

1. God..not trying to be holy, coz i cant. but im still working to be gd.
2. ART! artworks of ppl..artists!
3. Children..they're our future. =)
4. frens.
5. fashion?
6. food!
7. books..

8 things I say too often:

1. whatever-laa..
2. kuso..! dont ask me the meaing..lol/ wont tell.
3. so cold..( in aust oni la..during winter..LOL)
4. pretty! ( if i saw sumthin i like!)
5. buy-la! ( went i go shopping and i saw sumthin i like =P)
6. shucks.. (sumthin unpredictable happened)
7. bugger..
8. hai ya..*sighing ( typical msian ya? lol)

8 books I’ve read recently:

1. the bonesetter daugther by amy tan
2. the other boleyn girl by phillpia gregory..nice!
3. the constant princess by phillipia gregory..super nice..lol

8 songs I could listen to over and over again FOR THE MOMENT

1. all the worship songs by hillsong =)
2. No Air - Chris Brown and Jordin Sparks
3. With You - Chris Brown
4. Take a Bow - Rihanna
5. Dont speak- NO doubt (haha..damn long dy this song..but its my fave =))
6. Jay chou's first album..all the songs..!lool
7. American Boy - Estelle feat. Kanye West
8. Angel- sarah mc-sumthin..lol..its super nice.

hm..very random ya?

TAG No.3

Would you go out with you? State the reasons why you would, and why you wouldn't, and then come to a conclusion at the end.

i would go out with myslf went im in the mood for shopping or book hunting or out to do sumthin crazy..lol..coz i noe i will enjoy..lol

I'm tagging:

jonan, edmund, jhen, alice, jezamine, aaron, swee loo, li ching!

eeee...kena tag....>_<

2008-06-17T08:42:00.000-07:00

Tagged by: Mr chAN?

Layer 1: On the Outside

Name: Kuan Pei Wern, mabel
Date of birth: 4th january 1989
Current status: in relationship
Eye Colour: dark brown
Hair Colour: dark brown nearing black
Righty or Lefty: lefty..although i can use both hands..

LAYER 2: ON THE INSIDE

My Heritage: Chinese..import from China.lol..
Fears: gettin sick.
My Weaknesses: likes to think on the negative side.

LAYER 3: YESTERDAY, TODAY, TOMORROW

My Thoughts First Waking Up: im alive! =)
My Bedtime: on the phone with him. =) if he's not asleep...
My Most Missed Memory: too many, on certain times.

LAYER 4: MY PICK

Pepsi or Coke: neither both. i dont fancy.
McDonald's or Burger King: erm...burger king
Single or Group Dates: group...depends
Adidas or Nike: Adidas..cool sweaters..
Tea or Nestea: tea
Chocolate or Vanilla: choco for meeeee
Cappuccino or Coffee: i cant take coffee..prone to have nausea.

LAYER 5: DO YOU...

Smoke: shisha..yea. not often.
Curse: hahaha...if im in a foul mode, i can make guys flinched with my words.
Take a Shower: everyday..twice sumtimes
Have a Crush: haha..no.
Think You've Been In Love: yea..what a fool i am. no offence..its past.
Go To School: haha..not until sept =)
Want To Get Married: maybe..i wont rush into it..i hope..lol
Believe In Yourself: if GOd wills it.
Think Your A Health Freak: not really. lol

LAYER 6: IN THE PAST

Drank Alcohol: till now i still do.
Gone To The Mall: malls are my second home..believe it or not..but not so often anymore..
Been On Stage: yeap..in church as worship leader or backup.
Eaten Sushi: yea.
Dyed Your Hair: highlighted..purple, red, brown, GREEN.

LAYER 7: HAVE YOU EVER...

Played A Stripping Game: yea..LOL..what memories Xp
Changed Who You Were To Fit In: i did..well..everything happens for a reason. if i did not do that, i wont be the person ur looking at today,.

LAYER 8: AGE YOU'RE HOPING...

To Be Married: before 27 i hope..LOL
To die : When all my part in this world is done.

LAYER 9: IN A GUY..
Best Eye Colour: black..so i can c reflections on his eyes.
Best Hair Colour: BLACK.
Long or Short hair : short..boy cut..hehe..i like boyish guys.
Personality: pay attention to details, humble, and respect ppl regardless of who they are, caring.

LAYER 10: WHAT WERE YOU DOING...

A Minute Ago: talking to my sis
An Hour Ago: chatting with my best fren =)
Hours Ago: playing sims 2
1 Month Ago: how the hell should i remember? LOL
YearAgo: if 1 mth i remember u think i can remember ar? ok..i remembered..lolin klang..getting away from sumthin.

LAYER 11: FINISH THE SENTENCES...
I love: Jesus
I feel: itchy..camping..mosquito bite la..
I hate: no one.
I hide: my teeth
I miss: cendol.
I need: be lazy.

LAYER 12: TAG 4 PEOPLE
-Rach L
-Jiokswan ( since u 'free' ..all the best ya?)
-

yay..lazy lazy

2008-06-17T08:07:00.000-07:00

hahaha..im so lazy...lazy to update..today im happy..so din really wanna talk much aso..

when im emo..i would write alot..but...hahaha..just to update..im heading off to aussie on 28th june and back after 2 weeks..take care everyone..hope u have a fine summer break!..those having exams..ganbatte...hope to c u all soon..! cheers.