annoyed..

today i went to the pets fair in midvalley..damn lotsa ppl

so many cute cats and dogs...and lil newts too! ahhh...i nearly bought them back...

then got free samples of dog food for my dogs..brought it back gave them to eat..august had fish and rice at 1st, then shadow got fish and potato..then i just gave them in their dogbowls.

then funny thing is, my mum ask me to switch coz the one that i gave shadow was bit smaller bites compare to august, my mum put it since august is old so she ask me to switch it..so i did, guess what? august barked at shadow for 'stealing' is food, and he did not touch his switched food. then go and fight with shadow for his food. then with a sigh, i changed back..i told my mum and my sis said that coz august is a chinese dog..lol..fish and rice..shih tzu originated from china ma..then shadow, originate from germany thats why he likes fish and potato...weird.

while i was upstairs, then suddenly my sis called me, then i did not hear what she says later, i ask what, she didnt reply, then annoyed i went down..she ask me to watch a vid clip on Michael Jackson..i was annoyed coz i dun wanna watch it and that time she didnt tell me why i have to go downstairs, i told her then my mum told me off. she kept saying that she heard my sis ask me to go down to watch that stupid clip but i did not hear it then my mum keep insisting why im being so difficult. its just annoying. i parked my butt on my seat happily on9ling just to move coz i duno what my sis want from me. and she ask me to watch a stupid vid clip.

......

Hospital Date? lol

hmm..ive just showered and im tired..but happy. =)

today was the day that my mum made an appointment for me n Wei Ern to see a bone specialist in a Hospital. it started out like this, last few weeks, ive start having pain on my knees, sumtimes to the point of numbness and it made me quite difficult to walk. it all due to the injury that i have during the easter play and the basketball training that i had. not to mention previous injuries that ive suffered since i was 17.

i found out that my tendon is still weak and i need to properly care for my knee before doin any sports..and as for wei ern, this second appointment has confirm that his knee needs an operation. they found out that his 2 ligamen on his knee was teared and they need to fixed it back before its too late. so after our Langkawi trip, he has to do his operation most probably on 13th July...lets pray that this operation will be a successful one so that he could cont to play whatever sports ( esp squash..lol...) he likes...>_<

so the day before the appointment i was talking to him on the phone dicussing on sum random topic about our past injuries that we had during our childhood...it was funny because we both had injuries on the same body part..lol..ecg. both our right knee, left brow we both had a scar and we both hurt our left hand. we found it extremely hilarious because of the coincidence.

anyway, after we left, we went back home to fetch my sis and then me my mum and wei ern head down to klcc. went there to eat, buy books then went to watch movie coz my mum want to watch transformer..3 of us watch for the second time..still a great movie, lol..but my mum was abit dizzy coz of too many actions in the movie. then we had dinner and we head back to our house. psst..! KLCC parking damn expensive! rm 20.50 for 8 hrs...lol

we all had a great time and im glad that my mum is ok with wei ern..lol...and vice versa.

sigh, and i bought my jeans! yay...~ lol

the longest tag ever...sweat..by ivy..lol

1.My Name : Mabel Kuan

2.My Birthday : 4th January

3.Who tagged you : Ivy

4.Name 5 best friends : i dun have best frens..i have close frens..coz all of them are best! =p

5.What do you wished for birthday : still have a few months to go..let me think..lol

6.Happy things that happened recently : i got my results and i get to proceed to year 2 without resitting my papers.

7.Most stressed about recently : I want to see Wei Ern. lol..that made me stress...coz i cant see him that often..

8.What is your dream about future : My love ones would be in good health.

9.Do you have someone you like : haha..yeap

10.Will you visit your ex-teacher in a classmate gathering : depends on which teacher.

11.Most happy to hang out with : The ppl that i love.

12.If two of your friends are having conflicts : be their listener if they want sum1 to listen but will not try to solve it, coz it will work out eventually..

13.Where is preferably the place to go with your lover : Anywhere, lol..as long as im with him.

14.What to do in Christmas : Eat! carolling! EAt! lol...get pressies!

15.Who do you want to celebrate Christmas with : spend it with my frens and family.

16.Bad habit on waking up early in the morning : i will yawn alot...my eyes will be half close..lol

17.How many siblings do you have : one.

18.Favourite song(Female) : ahahahaha..Lady GAGA's newest single...no la..its actually Again by Yui.

19.Favourite song(Male) : John Legend Ordinary ppl.

20.Favourite Colour : earth colours? depends on my mood..

21.Flush before using the toilets? : depends.

22.Love me not? : love hu?

23.Affectionate to guys or girls : both.

24.What do you want to shout out loudly : I'm sweating! argh!

25.Do you dare to go toilets alone in the middle of the night? : Yeap.

26.Will you take off your undies in while in the WC : uhh..depends what im doin inside there? what kinda lame ass quest is tis? Ivy...! lol

27.Who’s the bastard : The rude ones.

28.What’s the current affection : Affection for my skin..sobsob..

29.Ugly when asleep: maybe...with my drool and snoring, i bet not..! lol..

30.Whats the time now : 9.46pm

31.Do you hate the person who tagged you : irritated why she tagged me this stupid long post..! LOL~

32.Weight : 45kg?

33.Weather today : felt like in sum oven or sumthin...

34.Are you pregnant : wtf..not now.

35.What will you do if you win a lottery : INvest! LOL~bwaahahah

36.An activity that must be done while in the Uni -life : DOTA n basketball..of course..lepaking n study too..lol

person in ur mind now:

1. wei ern
2. ivy
3.merissa
4. joanne
5.wy hoong
6.shi wei
7. alice
8.wayne
9.hock ann
10.ck

01-?Does no.4 know no.6??: yeap!

02-?No.10 is a male or??: hahaha..i didnt check but im sure he's a male..lol

03-? The hobby of no.8?: ahahhaha...racing?

04-?Does no. 1 have any siblings?: yeap..!

05-?The surname of of no.7?: Liew

06-?Does no.10 have alot of friends??: yea? why this quest like no 10 so much? lol

07-?Anyone tackling no.4??: huhuhu..complicated ler...lol =p

08-?If no.2 is being introduced??: my gurl..lol

09-?The favourite colour of no.6?: blue..HOt pink..waakakakakaa

12-?Where is no.5 studying currently??: Notts

13-?How do you know no.10??: BBQ party for a gurlfren.

14-?Whats the difference between the birth month of no.1 and you??: 9 months...! lol...

15-?Ever hang out with no.9??: mamak fellowship..yea..!

16-?Do you like to chat with no.2??: yeap...she always giggles...that cheers me up..lol when i talk to her..

17-?Like to be with no.3??: YEAP! lol

18-?How do you think about no.7??: sadist..! lol and squirrel..ask joseph about it..lol~

19-?How do you think about no.9??: a good fren

20-?Do you love no.5??: as a fren, yes lol

1.Who tagged you with this questionnaire? : IVY la...~

2.How long have you known him/her : hm..since primary skool? lol~

3.Do you think that he/she is important to you? : Yeap!

4.Your relationship with him/her : friends la..=) gurlfrens.

5.Whats his/hers hobby? : EAting! ..lol..sorry ivy..! lol..playing with her cute puppy? lol

6.What do you think about his/her personality? : lovable!

7.His/her points of importance in your heart : wa..wat is this..everyone is important in my heart..=)

*1st thing before sleep : wash my feet, brush teeth n wash face.

*1st thing after awaking from sleep : grab my specs.

*Your idol : no idol..

*Favourite season : Spring.

*Worked part-time before? : Yes.

*Times worked : Once..if u count pay..lol

*Countries that wanted to go the most : rome..ireland..new zealand..

*Personality hated : rude, selfish

*Are you a crybaby? : yeap

*You laugh alot? : manically at times, yes..

*Do you like to go out alone? : When im emoing

*What time will you wake up if it's a holiday? : wahahaha..i wake when i wake.

*Today’s weather(Sunny Rainy Cloudy): Incredibly hot!

*Choose between Friends and Lover : friends, coz lover is my fren too..my bestie in fact.

*Choose between Chances and Fates : chances.

*Are you narcissist? : sumitmes..lol..when no one's looking.

*Is this questionnaire long? : Super!

*How to make yourself feel better every time? : food! and time with my boyfriend..or sleep.

*Favourite food : almost everything...except for slimey veggies, brinjals...eee

*Do you like ice? : Yes.

*Are you full of happiness? : im quite cloudy.

*Who are the friends that you care the most? : those are in trouble.

*What's the most important item in your bed room? : everything! lol

*Most consistent dream at sleep : nitemares.

*Will you forgive a guy that is mentally disobedient? : wahts mentally disobedient? meaning he cant controll being disobedient?

*Whats the meaning of life? : who know? im finding out myslf..

*Do you know?(See if you can answer this!): know that this questionnaire is stupid? Yes.

*When do you hate me? : i hate you when i do..(to the questionnaire)

*Like the day you were born or been into the society?: well, u cant change rite?

*Like Taoism or Confucianism? : neither

*Favourite cake? : Raspberry cheese..=)

*Can we stop this game now? : ...

*Do you like sardins? ^^ : yeap

*Who knows you the best? : God

*IQ higher or EQ? : lol...nerd.

*Computer or Mobile Phone : neither.

*Prefer to sleep or play? : Sleep.

*Friendster or Facebook? : Fb.

*Whats your wish right now? : be with him.

*Tired? : quite.

*Favourite drinks : pink lemonade.

untitled.

human love?
human carnal love,
catch in like a zhepyr,
such intense gust,
but just as a gust it will be.

human carnal love,
so intense,
but yet as fragile as a day's bloom of a flower,
longing to show the world its beauty,
but crumbling to dust only after later.

back after sooo long.

hey people..! cats...dogs..plants..lol

finally, im back..

i dont have the mood to write, and i was quite busy for the last few weeks after summer break has officially started..! lol..

i've been doin basketball trainings with the gurls that are now in Tri Notts Games in UK. pray that they will be in good health..by the looks of the pictures in facebook...hmm...they're good..lol (but sure alot of stories im yet to hear about...hehehehe...)

want to write on blog but frens stalled me...after not onlining for pleasure for so long...lol...ive forgotten my special ability of multitasking..lol

moving everything back to my home is one thing, placing them is another thing..lol..i ahve mountains of stuffs in my room and i can hear cockroaches singing in the dark! >_< damn those cockroaches...

so many things to do..but procrastinating..sigh..how how?

things to do

mabel needs to:

1. clear out SPM stuffs..(im serious! still got! LOL)
2. clean my desk
3. organise my books
4. clean out my closet
5. sleep sleep sleep! LOL

argh..>_<

untitled.

whoever corrects amocker invites insult;
whoever rebukes a wicked man incurs abuse.
do not rebuke a mocker or he will hate you;
rebuke a wise man and he will love you.
Instruct a wise man and he will be wiser still;
teach a righteous man and he will add to his learning.

proverbs 9:8

Easter

After a long chat with a few of my favourite people, they’ve made me realize something about myself.


It’s hard to admit, I have an ego as big as a guy and I’m always think I can almost do better than other people in terms of certain things. I seem to be confident if I am sure I could complete that certain task.

God has been trying to show me how to be humble and patience, and He even sent me a very special person in my life to remind me of a few things in life that I should always remember, is to be humble and to be in the grace of God. If it isn’t for Jesus, I could have been much worse. People always regard Christians in majority always being all holier than thou kinda attitude, but it truth, Christians need God because they are worse. i.e, me.

Take me for a perfect example, I swear, I’m egoistic, I’m impatient, I’m rude. I’m worse off than other people. I still find it hard for God to accept me and He is willing to let me be in His presence. But there He is, always with me even most of the times I had doubt and even abandon Him. I was the one that abandon Him instead of me.

Being the ‘victim’ of the upcoming Easter play in Nottingham University has lead me to think and reflect of all the things that I’ve went through in my life. For the 1st scene, for example, I have been tempted on lust, had my fair share on being a 1st degree of nearly being an alcoholic, always drinking in excuse of trying to defeat stress and depression. I’ve went through being too insecure of myself, discouraged, and always think bad about how I look. No matter anyone tells me that I am pretty or decent looking, I couldn’t accept it. Why? Some people asked me, because I ‘d always believe that beauty comes from the inside, and that’s why I’m not pretty, cause, I’m not pretty from the inside. It’s not that I’m being too ‘chinese’ by not accepting compliments, this is the real reason that I couldn’t accept this compliment. Committing suicide? Lol..yes. It crossed my mind so often until I’m wondering why I am still alive.

No matter what I’ve went through, whether it’s by my own doing or cause by other people, God was and is always with me. Why do I know that? Cause I’m still alive. It sounds cheesy but I can swear my life by it. He sends angels to talk to me, He shows me until I see it. My angels are so damn special in my life..earthly angels and heavenly angels the same too. Earthly angels would be my family members, my friends and loved ones. They gave me the reasons to live, to love and to cherish. They are you. ( yesh, you..reading this) =)

Blessed are those whom are poor in spirit.

Despite all those false accusations that are made by people, I pray that God would be my strength to go thru this time in my life. You have been there throughout my life for 20 years (even more), I will continue to learn to trust You, O Lord. I still believe that the truth will eventually reveal itself when the time is right. You are my strength when I am weak. Even though I look tough and hardy, but I’m still a fragile girl despite on how I look. Only You could see through me and fully understand on what I am going through in this period of time. I love You, Jesus. I cant comprehend with my puny pathetic human mind on why do You choose to die for me for my sins. All I can do is come to You in awe reverence, no one could make me feel like You do. Therefore, Lord Jesus, I give You thanks for the times when You patiently wait for me with Your arms wide open, even with the shits that I’ve made and forgive me Lord for being so ignorant and stubborn to even acknowledge you. I’ve clearly been a fool but You choose to be with me. You are freakingly awesome.

my daily routine as Mabel Kuan.

Wednesday,(9th April 2009)
woke up at 11am. supposingly have class at 9am-11am, then another one at 12pm-2pm, then weekly test at 4pm-5pm.

at 5.30pm, have basketball competition 3 on 3 women's team.

what a terrible game, kind off for me..i didnt manage to shoot a single score.except the last minute..with is tied up between double-trouble team ( a group of african gurls consist of a size triple my size,wide..and a tall netball player..one head taller than me, and the last one a tiny one, smaller size than me) we tied them for 3rd place, so it was weird that the organisers wont want to give us overtime, instead they want all of the teamates to shoot to determine the 3rd place.in the end we tied again so its time to move to the sudden death situation whereby each team has to choose a shooter to shoot until they score. guess what? i was chosen and the 1st try, we tied AGAIN..then the second one, with all eyes looking at me, i never felt that kinda pressure before..and i missed.

kinda sad,, i was crying later..lol...then i realise that i was crying i cried even harder..lol..i felt so ridiculus but i cant stop..was quite emo la..but it was nothing la. Wei Ern was there with me, he msged me earlier saying he has to conduct tuition in his house, but surprisingly he turned up to see me play, that was really sweet of him..he actually cancelled his tuition so he could watch me play. =p thanks alot..i really appreciate that..=) BUT YOU WERE playing squash..hm...=/ i kinda guessed it when u dissapeared about 15 minutes..LOL

at 9pm, have CF committee meeting.

they were choosing new committee members for CF team for next year, and i cried, i duno why i cried, part of me was like...uhh...seniours are leaving..lol..part of me is like...there's this kinda feeling where u dont want to do it, but God is telling you to do it..? hahahaha...i felt like jonah..swallowed by a big giant fish..

at 12.30am, shower..yea..i stink all the way until midnite.

at 1am, went with jo-anne, shi wei n wen shan to McD kajang. (bluff ppl, saying open 24 hrs, joker..we all went there for the sake of sundae cone...im serious..from Nottingham to Kajang for Sundae Ice Cream. Boo...~!

then end back in Semenyih Ibrahim Maju. ate then..

at 3am, camp in TIscra(computer lab), tryin to do my assignments, wait for..

5am..so i can go climb broga Hill. yes..at 5am after everything.

Let me tell you what i did the day before..(meaning..on tuesday)

Note: before that,Monday,(6th April 2009) i slept at 5am, talking to my housemate regarding about sumthin while studying)

TUesday,(7th April 2009)
i have class at 1pm-2pm..so i could lie in abit longer.
went to class..then did my part of assignment..500 words in 45minutes.
then went out to eat early dinner at 6pm then came back for Talent Quest in Nottingham..enjoyed, then sat in the rain n walk in the rain back to my car, found out about sumting, then went super emo.. then just took my car and drove off at 11pm-ish back to Cheras..just to find a reason to drive.

Wei Ern followed me. He accompanied me even though he do not know wad was happening to me. he just followed me. i felt irritated abit because he is there, but thankful that he was with me during that time. he got scolded by mum later on the phone when he told his mum that he was not coming back home that nite and i felt super bad. im sorry..T_T

i was at BRJ then thinking about hock ann, so i called him and he agreed to come out and meet me even without thinking. i was surprised. what surprised me even more was later after a few minutes he arrived, Ronald came too, then Lokman whom ive never seen him for at least 8 years. lol..i was so surprised i nearly cried. so we talked about things..lol..wei ern felt so out of place. (did you?)

then later they told me about their latest 'hobby'..which is catching prawns..yes..ur not reading it wrong..seriously, catching prawns. its located near the mamak, and they show me how they catch them...lol...fishing is fishing fish, so catching prawns is..prawing? LOL okok..its really fishing for prawns in a water container made of simen and tiles. then grab a fishing rod with a bait made out of chicken gizzard. its quite an expensive game...lol...rm 10 per hr? or is it 15? but its quite addictive you see..lol...but with rm 10-15 ringgit, i cant go CC and DOTA till my eyes bulge out..lol..

anyway, they did catch sum and you keep the catch..and Ron caught two before i left. i got to play with it..=) Ron apparently forgotten how i like creepy crawlies.=)

then i too GG to drive back, Wei Ern drove my car back to nottingham, reach nottingham at around 4am.


*there, this is my life..LOL..and now its 4.10am..in about 50 mins i'll be off to climb broga hill with my business group of frens. =)

seriously, i duno how long will i collapse. i pray that i wont.

love,
pei wern.

Kopi tarik

It's 3.10am in the morning and im not doin anything..with shi wei n wai ken n jin yu.after a glass of hot kopi tarik i still can fall asleep..just print out sumthin for my assignment.

Yest was my Uni's annual dinner and it was ok. paying rm 125 for the purpose of to See and Be Seen. LOL...it was good in the sense of getting to know some of my coursemates in the afterparty..lol...talk to ppl that i havent met before or talk at all...(my uni quite big la..) my coursemates num is around 100+..ok..its not being be anti-social..it was indeed fun except for sum mishaps.

overall, i kinda enjoyed the day..parts of it of course, met alot of nice ppl. =)

then sunday...


i met up with my good fren, Joseph New.

i miss him so much and im so happy to meet back him. im relieved that he's doin ok in his life so far, its a hard journey but keep it up! *hugs*

i need to improve too. my IQ is dropping..lol..and my communication skills is getting worse..sigh..

im trying...
but there's alot of hindrances..alot. in sense of my emotions and physical capabilities, and i pray that it would not affect me that much.

My priority is to get my grades up again and able to enter MAPCU or the TRINotts games for Basketball. so other problems..please fuck off?

daily rumblings

i'm starting to feel dumber n dumber by the minute..(the syllabus din not help but amplified it more.) there is so much to be done. but so lil time..i felt that the time is flying so fast, im just trying to grab the end of it. hanging on to dear life..( imagine it..its funny)

now im having my break from my classes, frens went to eat, but i nid to settle sum stuffs regarding about my INteractive Learning Barometer that suppsoe to measure my learning capabilities. well, ive submitted it earlier but i did not get my email to confirm my enrolment..so rite now..i couldnt do the survey, which the due date was so be today. >_< ive told my lecturer and he told me to try again, i did, but the mail still havent come yet. so im worried and im so damn frustrated. still waiting for another class to start at 3pm then ends at 5pm. then later move on to frisbee Ultimate Hat league (din noe i play frisbee lehh...coz i noob) lol..anyway, then after that, dinner then bible study with my frens in tts5 then got worship practise.

monday is the most busiet day of the week...and some ppl say business school is sooo free..(dunoo hu leh?)

i still have to design a logo for my hall. and i dun have ideas! argh..why why why.. i had one but mun yee said that unless if i want to get sued, use that idea, app its too close with the nottingham's logo, so i have to think again.

i am still sick, and wei ern keep telling me that my body temperature is abnormal as i am abnormally warm and he kept suspecting that im having fever, but im too numb to even care or notice, until i end up in the clinic for blood test. my mum suspect that im having dengue fever..and wei ern suspect i have chikgugunya fever as i always felt really tired. ( i think its because i always sleep late) >_<

sigh..its almost time for class now. its been long i've ever written so long a blog entry. ( im practising for my upcoming Econs Assignments! LOL..2000 words...hmm..)

depressed.

dunno why, i felt that my braincells are in comma mode these few weeks.

1. i felt that i talk like a bimbo lately.
no one deserve to hear what im talking about unless i would try to talk like a normal person.im serious..*sigh.

2. i felt that i cant describe in words how i feel.
(about anything) everything just went numb, like all my senses are gone.

3. i think im starting to feel depressed.
hahaha..

4. i felt inadequate.
my studies, my sports, my hobbies..lol

5. i miss my frens..alot.
so lil time, so many to meet up but couldnt have the chance because of my workload. the timing sucks too. sumore its towards the end of my semester for year 1 and i did not really study, i spend most of my time sleeping..>_<

i seem to get back on track on loads of stuffs lately,

it happens when i start to fast again..God seems to reveal alot of things to me.

LOL, and oddly enough..its always food that tries to tempt me..lol...when im fasting its always..almost any type of food could tempt me..lol..

okies, back to the topic..

God revealed to me that there is a need among of my frens, so i felt the urge to pray n fast at the same time. it makes me felt more in touch to Him more than anything. i felt Him more closer to Him than ever, and the feeling it's great! =)

it prompt me to fast when i keep losing my ground, i keep focusing on the wrong things..until i used that to counter my own feelings..lol

after ive been dating this guy..lol.. i keep thinking about him.

i just couldnt comprehend this, human love is so fragile and intense,...what about God's love?

if i could think of him nite and day, and waiting for his msges, what about Him? willing to send his only son to die for all of us on the cross?

He's always waiting for us..to say that we love Him...lol...i dun know how to describe it, but the feeling's awesome.

okies, gotta work on my assignments! =)

screwed

haha..yesh.

alot of things happened, since i did not blog for a very long time..lol...

on 6th of march 2009, i got SUMMON-ed.

and it was 4.30am in the morning..LOL...after DoTa-ing in a local CC.

and its not compoundable. i have to be in court on april sumthin.lol

for what? driving in a opposite direction in a one way street. LOL.. lucky weh..lucky!

sigh..duno how to tell me dad.. =/

RYAN!

aw.

thanks for the Godiva Chocos. but i really wanna scold you LA! wthell, u better manage ur money rite or else..ur gona be a homeless dude! wat is wrong with you? sending chocolates to me n merie while ur at US? ish..i do worry about you, RYAN.

take care n god bless. i know ur reading this. lol. happy belated valentine's day to you.